The Almost Heros of Middle Earth
by Moved to Shachou
Summary: Crystal and Danielle are taken through a space-time continum door thingymabob to Middle-Earth. Their goal, figure out were the hell they are and how the hell they are gonna solve this mess. Not a Mary-Sue! Not a boring plot! PG-13 for Language.
1. Where the hell am I?

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Author's Notes:

1. I do NOT own LOTR

2. I do NOT own anything else

3. To the dearly beloved flamers (not) out there, to you this may be a Mary-Sue, but this is a huge step in my writing. Also this is a plot all too commonly used on , so I will try hard to make it unique. I think it is a great plot, that's why so many people use it.

4. When I put a name in stars above a section, that means the stories being told from their point of view.

5.This is SO dedicated to Crystal and Legolas. Crys is my best bud, and she is the one who got me SO into LOTR. Legolas is my huge obsession, and he also got me into LOTR.

6. This is actually me and my friend, not made up characters.

California Dreaming,

Danielle (a.k.a. Avalon)

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Danielle

"Danielle! Phone for you!" screamed Sierra, her little sister up the stairs. "Who is it?" I said back down the stairs. "It's Crystal, for only the millionth time today!" Sierra said, getting mad. She didn't have many friends, and was jealous Crystal and I chatted on the phone for about 4 hours everyday. I picked up the extension upstairs. "Now get off, Sierra." I growled. "Fine, Jeez." Sierra said huffingly. "Sorry 'bout that." I told Crys. "Whatever it's cool." replied Crystal. We giggled together. "Jeez, how old is Sierra again?" Crystal asked. "She just turned 14 yesterday." I said. I myself was turning 16 soon enough, but Crystal was already 16. Curses her. "I'm so dang bored! What do you wanna do today?" I whined. "I know meet me at the park. I'll bring my laptop and wireless internet connecter. " Crystal said, knowing how much we enjoyed the internet. "Deal. See you in a few!" I said, and I plopped the phone back on its charger. Two years ago I moved to with my mom and little sister to Pine Hills, Ca. There I met Crystal . We immeaditly became best buds. When we were 13, our favorite thing ever was Lord of The Rings. She was obsessed with Frodo Baggins, and I was With Legolas Greenleaf. Sadly, we lost interest in that and now, we talk about.....

FAME! FORTUNE! UNFAIR SCHOOL SYSTEMS! POLITICS!(A/n Danielle does support Bush, well Crystal supports Kerry.) GIRL JUNK!

I hurried to my room to change my clothes. It was a nice day, but the same old boring California weather. Sunny. Maybe a few clouds, Temp. in the mid-70s. Jeez, in Cali, it only rains maybe three days a year. You have to really like the sun to live here. I dug through my endless shorts drawer, and found a pair of my favorite dark blue jeans, and a white tank top. I stuck a pair of sunglasses on my head, and then looked in the mirror. I applied my lip gloss, and put in my contacts. (A/n I don't own any yet but....someday I will get them!.... You all will see!) Then I stood back to see how I looked overall. Fine enough. My hair is blonde, not curly, but just straight, boring hair that reached mid-back. Yawn Also my blue eyes were WAY too common for a Cali girl. Jeez, I swear someday I will get my hair dyed blue and wear green contacts. Heh-Heh, that'll be the day. I jumped down the stairs expertly, and shouted to my mom "I'm going out to meet Crystal at the park!" I said. She was on the computer, typing a letter to our Great-Aunt in Nebraska. "Danielle, Did you take out the trash? You have to do that first, And take your homework with you!" My mom shouted back. "Alright, Alright, I'm on it." I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the trash bag, Threw my pack onto my back, and lunged out the door. I threw the trash bag into a can, about 10 feet away, and it landed cleanly in there. "YES!" I said happily, and then I put on my helmet and jumped onto my bike, peddling for all I was worth.

I reached the park out of breath. I looked down all of the paths and saw Crystal sitting on the bench, concentrating hard on whatever was on her computer. Her brown hair (which reached to her shoulders when it was down) was hanging around her face as her head was bent down. Today her outfit was jeans as well, and a shirt that said "Work it baby, Work it". I laughed, and then snuck up behind her slowly. "Oh, shit!" she said as she saw me coming up behind her. "You scared me, Danielle" She yelled. at me. "Sorry, sorry, just trying to see what you are so busy doing." I said (Que evil laughter.) "I'm just cleaning out my favorites list, I haven't done this for years!" she said. I laughed, knowing that this was SO true. Hm... I thought as she scrolled down the list. There was some avatar sites, a link to neopets, "Delete!" We both said at the same time. Laughing, she clicked the button. This was going to take awhile, so I sat down and pulled a book out of my backpack. Crystal always called my backpack "the endless backpack" because I always seemed to have stuff in it. The book was about a girl in a surfing competition, and I immeaditly immersed myself in it. "Hey look, I found an old elvish dictionary site. Wow, I had even saved a special page. It's the elvish for saying "To find out what you are to become, First you must find out who you are." Said Crystal. "Huh. Interesting." I said offhandedly. "Come on Danielle. Check it out!" Crystal said, getting that If-you-don't-do-it-ill-make-you look on her face. "Fine, Fine. How do you say it in elvish?" I replied. Crystal said something really fast. "What? Say that again." I asked, and Crys opened her mouth to speak. But she never got the chance. Suddenly everyone and everything around them paused, frozen in time. "What in the name of Blueberry Muffins is going on here?" Crystal yelled. "Wait, Look." I said. There was a door that stood about 15 feet from the ground. It was stone, and it looked ancient. On it words were etched in what I recognized as elvish glowed a deep blue. "I wonder where it leads..." Crys said. "Uh.... Crys...I don't think that's a smart thing to do..." I said slowly. "Of course it's not." she said reasonably. "It doesn't have to be. Anyways, we'll just have to sit here for a very long time if we don't.." She got up from the bench, and walked up to the door. I sighed and followed her. I didn't want to know what was going to happen next, and I probably didn't want to. "Alright, Crys, but if we never come back, you are SO going to pay. I don't know how, but someway I'll get you back." I said menacingly. Crystal ignored me, an grabbed one of the handles to the door. It was a silverish one, and it glinted in the light. "One, Two, Three!" Crystal said, and she yanked the door open. Then everything blacked out.

Crystal

I slowly opened my eyes, and my head ached suddenly at the bright light shining through the trees.

_Where the hell am I? _I thought. It sure wasn't Fallbrook Park. Then I remembered opening the door with Danielle. I quickly got up and looked around. I was in some kind of forest, with big mossy trees and a brook close by. _Wait a sec, where's my hair??!!_ I thought. I reached all around my shoulders but it wasn't there. Then I felt my head. My hair had turned into a mass of curly brown locks. I just stood there, shocked. Then I realized I was shorter, but not just a few inches. A few feet! I stood about 3'6" tall now. I wish I had a mirror to look at.... I thought, not knowing what else to think of. I'm sure Danielle would have one.... Oh My God!! Danielle? Had she come in with me?? Where was she? I ran through the forest, then tripped over something. I landed with a plonk on the ground, and then realized I had tripped over a blonde-haired girl. "Danielle!!" I shouted. She looked up wearily, obviously she had just woke up too. "Eh, what's going on?" she asked sleepily. "Oh my Holy Croutons! Danielle, You have pointy ears!"

I said, shocked. Danielle reached slowly up to her ears, her eyes as extremely wide. She stood up, and then said "uh..Crys..no offense and all, but you are short. REALLY short. " "I know....but you are taller then you were before....wait a sec....your an elf! And I'm a hobbit!" I said excited. Danielle began "Hee hee...I've always wanted to be an elf. It didnt change my personality, but I feel diffrent. I can feel the age of the forest and the wind blowing in Rohan. It's like I'm apart of the earth. But my visions all blurry...." . She then realized what had happned, and removed her contacts. "Jeez, Crys, I can see so well!" WEll.... isn't that just wonderful for you Danielle. Did I get anything special from this? Gardning skills?? I sighed. "What is it?" Danielle asked. "Oh, just that you've got all of these elvish power sorta things and hobbits don't have anyting like that." I said. "Oh, please Crystal. YOU'RE A HOBBIT! You can marry Frodo without any racial seperations now...DUH! Anyways, Hobbits are cool. Don't you have any,like,sudden urge to go find a tavren or something?" Danielle said. We bothed laughed uncontrollably. "Um..Danielle..I'd love to marry Frodo and all, and obviously this IS Middle-Earth, but at what point in time are we in? " I asked. "I bet you $20.00 that where're outside of Rivendale, just before the Council of Elrond." Danielle said. "If it's like any fanfic I've read, that's where we'll be." she continued. "There is just a tiny problem..I've forgotten half the story!" I said. Oh, shit. What if some creepy ringwraith comes up and slices our heads off or sumthin? We both began to wander around, looking for any sign of elves. "Eep!" Danielle said from about 17 feet away. I ran over there. Standing in front of Danielle was and old man clad all in gray. "Gandalf?" I said in alarm. Not what I had expected.


	2. Rivendale and All

Yay, another update! Thank the mystik-foo-foo! (hee hee, you have to read Legolas Stalker's stories to get it!)

No reviews yet, but if anyone would just press that button down there, I would be glad to give you my happines.

This story is a combo of the books and the movies, so be prepared! Also when I post my stories it messes

up how I wrote it (i/o/w it makes extra spaces and stuff)

This chapter is dedicated to My first reviewer (not lady of the ring, shes my friend and shes in this story so she doesnt count.sorry crys!)

Thank you Danielle! (a/n she has the same name as me, isn't that cool?)

Disclaimer:

You know the drill..blah blah blah, dont own diddly squat....yada yada yada..wish i did...all that.

California Dreaming,

Danielle Nicole

Previously on The Two (almost) heros of Middle Earth...

Danielle and Crys are taken back to Middle Earth, Crystal's a hobbit, Danielle's shock an elf, and now

they've been found wandering in the forest by Gandalf. What could happen next??! (I doubt anything very interesting.)

Danielle

My heart was beating about 100 miles an hour, and I'm sure my eyes were wide again, except this time in

fear. "Gandalf?" Crystal asked in amazment. I still couldn't get over her being so short and all, as well as me being

so tall. "Yes, young lady. Tell Me, where are you from?" he said. We looked at eachother slowly. "Um....we came

from a far away land, and somehow we were transported here." I said, taking a chance. "Ah, then I'm glad to have

finally found you two, Danielle, daughter of Susan, and Crystal, daughter of Colleen." Gandalf said wearily. "But..

how did you know that? And where are we?" Crystal asked. "You are near to Isengaard, land of Saruman. As for

how I know you, I do not yet have the time to explain everything, except for that you had been called upon by one

of the five wizards. I belive it was Saruman, trying to get you two girls to join his side. But I am glad to have found

you two first. Now, though, we must leave immeadietly." Huh? What did he mean get us two to join his side? Did

Sauruman need us to give him advice on how to make elctricity or something? Gandalf whistled, and an eagle, which

was flying overhead, swooped down. Me and Crystal watched in amazement as the eagle landed and Gandalf jumped

on it's back. He motioned for us to get on behind him, and Crystal, being the brave hobbit she is jumped right on. Of

course I got on behind her, but I was still scared shitless. The eagle took off, it's wings beating in perfect rythem. "Oh my

God! I just remebered. Danielle, you're afraid of heights, aren't you?" Crystal said. I just nodded thinking..duh! I was

afraid to open my mouth. I closed my eyes and buried my head into the eagles feathers.

What seemed like forever but was actually probably only about 3 hours when we flew over Rivendale, and Gandalf

began to descend. "Gandalf?" Crystal asked. "Yes?" he said as slipped off the eagles back and onto the mossy ground.

"Where are we going?" she asked again. "To the house of Elrond. There is a task that needs to be done, but I cannot

speak of it here." Gandalf said. "Ah-hah" Crys said. YAY! I guess I'm gonna get to meet Leggers anyways, THIS ought to be interesting.I giggled uncontrollably. "You are a queer elf" Gandalf said, trying be polite. "Be more serious!" Crystal said, poking me. "Easy for you, you little hobbiteer (a/n pronounced hobbit-ear) . You can do anything and STILL be acting like a hobbit." I snapped back. "Alright. Let's just be quiet now. We're entering Rivendale." Crystal said. Drat! I was having fun arguing with her. Many elves lined the walkway, singing a song about Gandalf, in honor of his return, and throwing white flowers. I caught one in my hand (with my amazing elvish reflexes smirk lol). It was a white lily with a light blue center. I put it in my hair and then braided two tiny braids streaming from where I had pinned my flower in. Then I realized many elves where looking at me and Crystal oddly. What was up with them? Oh, wait. We were still wearing our jeans and our shirts. Sighing, I just kept on following Gandalf. When we came to Elrond's house, Elrond himself came to greet us. "Gandalf! It is very good to see you again, my old friend." Elrond said. He put his hand on Gandalfs shoulder, and Gandalf did the same, but to Elrond. Elrond then looked over at us. "Who are these madiens? A hobbit and an elf? There clothing is strange to me, are they from a foriegn land?" Elrond said. "Yes, Yes. They are here to represent their lands" Gandalf said quickly. Represent? Now I was an abassador for modren day earth? This is just getting annoying. Elrond didn't look like he did in the movie. He looked extremely beautiful (not hot mind you), not a single wrinkle on his face (and he has been living for how many years??!!), but there was age in his eyes. "Why dont you send the girls to their rooms so they can prepare for the meeting? I do have a few rooms avalible." Elrond said graciously. "I'm gonna share a room with crys!" I said, pumping my hand into the air, and breaking the tranquil silence. Oh, dang. That was a stupid thing to do... "Er... alright. We will make sure that is done" Elrond said. Gandalf was holding back a few laughs, and so was Crys. I gave her a death glare as we were escorted to our rooms by two other elves. Guy elves. Who looked hot by the way. I nudged Crystal and pointed. She nodded and rolled her eyes. "I saw that..." I said. I walked up to one of the male elves who had brown hair and green eyes. "Hi, my names Danielle. May I ask of yours?" I said, trying to look cute. He looked at me funny, and then stated "Yes, My lady. (hee hee, he called me my lady!) My name is Amar. (which by the way, is elvish for home. a/n when I use elvish in this story, my grammer is going to be horrible, but all I can say is...deal with it.)" I sighed and decided to stop, he looked like he was busy. Curses. A group of elves walked the oppisite way, talking in elvish switftly. Hey, wait. I could understand them... woah this was awesome!! They were talking about Gondor and about the heir to the throne (Aragorn..). I smiled as they walked up. I wondered who they were. "Welcome to the house of Elrond." said the blonde one in the front. Legolas? "My name is Haldir." Dang. Nevermind. He looked better then he did in the movie, though. Younger and all. "This is my companion, Legolas, of the Woodland Realm." Oh, there's Leggers. He looked the same. Oh well, I guess Orlando did a pretty good job then, eh? Heh heh heh. Anyways, Haldir then walked up, and kissed both me and Crys's hands. We both blushed furiously, and when Leggy-poo did it, I felt like I was about to scream "Take that all you rabid fan girls! sticks tounge out". Then they departed, allowing us to continue to our rooms. When we walked through the wooden doors, we gasped. Our room was beautiful! There were about three or four windows dipicting Rivendale, light green curtains framing them. Our bedspreads were light green too, and looked soft. I ran out and plopped on one of them, enjoying the feel. "Well, I'm glad to see you are enjoying your rooms. We will be on your way, you are free to do as you wish as long as you stay in town, and as long as you change your clothes as well." Elrond said. He walked out the door, but then Gandalf walked up to use, and pulled someting out of his cloak. Joy! It was my backpack. "I found this before either of you had awakened. I hope it will help you." He said, and then he walked out of our room, closing the door behind himself. "Let's see...Heres a trunk" Crystal said, and she lifted up the top. Inside where beautiful dresses, most of them light colors. Crystal found a green tunic, and found some beige pants to go with it. I searched and found a blue tunic, and some beige pants. "This is perfect. I thought we would have to wear big poofy dresses or something." I said with relief. "Me too. but I think these clothes are a little too big." Crystal said. Correction, the were WAY too big. I laughed, and it was her turn to give a death glare. I found two doors. Through one was a bathroom and changing room, and the second was a walk-in closet. "There are some child-sized clothes in here, Crys" I said, smiling. She walked in, shut the door, and when she came out we were both in our outfits. Crystal looked positivitly adorable. "Don't even" she growled. "I won't" I said. Now lets go find Mr. Magic and see what hes up to. " I grabbed my backpack, and me and Crys, feeling adventours, jumped through the windows, and onto the ground only a few feet below. "I've got it. We'll call Gandalf Mr. White-out, because in TTT (a/n TTT stands for two towers.) he looks like he went swiming in white-out. " Crystal said. I laughed, and again we got those annoying "Who the heck are they?" looks. I tried to control my urge to keep my tounge from sticking out, but I failed. Curses. "There's Mr.W/O" Crystal said, pointing. I saw him through a window. He was talking to a small-brown haired person.."Frodo's in there!" Crystal shouted. She tried to run off at hyperspeed, but I grabbed her collar. "Now Crystal, what were telling me earlier about restraining ourselves around our obssesions?" I said with a smug look on my face."Curses" she muttered. "I can hear you!" I said, enjoying my elvish hearing to it's full extent. We knocked on the door slowley, and we were greeted by Elrond. "Hello, young maidens. I belive Gandalf was about to summon for you" He said. We just nodded, and walked through the door. When we came to the room with Frodo, Crystal went practically insane. I was holding the back of her shirt in reminder not to run up to the poor little thing and start snogging him. "Hello, Frodster. I know we havn't met yet, but I've heard much of you and your uncle." I said. I knew too much, I thought, wincing.

"Hello Frodo!" Crys said. "These are the girls I told you I had found" Gandalf explained to Frodo. Frodster looked at Crys interestingly. Oh For the Love of Valar! (Hey, that's what elves say!) I could smell the mary-sueism from here. After chatting for a few minutes, we were dismissed until tomarrow. I decided to let Crystal go and find the other hobbits to worship them, but I chose to go check out how elves are. I mean, if you're an elf, you can't just be all humany. I'm glad I know the language though. Oh, lookee. It's Leggers and Haldir, as well as Aragorn. (a/n this entire conversation is in elvish, but I'll translate for you all) "Greetings!" I said. They all nodded in reply. I bowed my head and then looked up. Aragorn looke like he hadn't taken a bath in a month. I am from this point on dubbing him Mr. Bubbles. Hee hee. "It is well to see you again" Haldir said. "Ditto" I said. "What?" Legolas said. "er.. nevermind that" This was going to be harder then I thought. "We are to meet tomarrow at the meeting hall for a council." Mr. Bubbles explained. "Um..I don't exactly know where that is." I said slowly. "I'll escort you!" Legolas and Haldir said at the same time. "Nevermind, you take her Haldir." Legolas said reluctantly. Did I hint jealousy? OMG, this was going to be good. "I'll come to get you tomarrow at the gardens near the river at sunrise. We'll be early, but I want to make sure that we arrive on time. Oh, yes you might also want to wear something a little more formal this time." Haldir said. I sighed and nodded. Haldir kissed my hand again, then Legolas. Mr. Bubbles didn't, and thank Valar he didn't. Yuck, all those nasty germies and all. I began to walk away, when Legolas caught up. "Hey Leggers." I said. "What did you call me?" he said. " I called you Leggers. You need a nickname, Legolas is to boring." I said. "Does Haldir have a nickname?" Legolas said. Hm..."No, not yet." I stated. Leggers smiled. I knew it. He is SO jealous. I bet Haldir's the same. Wait until I tell Crystal! heh heh. "Got to go, Lego!" I said, and I ran off, leaving Leggers to stand there, mouth open. I found Crystal with all the hobbits. They were all sharing a drink. "Crys!" I called. "Who's Crys?" Merry said. "One second, guys. I've got to go talk to my friend for a few minutes." Crystal said. She winked, grabbed my arm, and dragged me behind a giant oak. "What?" I muttered. "Danielle, we can't use our real names. It just isn't right, so can you please come up with one?" Crystal said. "My names going to be Elanor Fairbanks." she coninued. "Lorwen" I said. "Lorwen. daughter of Alata. Lorwen means dream maiden in elvish. I like it." Crys, or Elanor (nicknamed Ele) nodded. "Alright Lorwen, Let's get back to the hobbits." she said winking. "Wait, Ele. " I said. "Guess what?" Ele sighed. "What? Lorwen." It was weird to be called that. I'll just have to get used to it. Anyway, Mr. White-out was the only one to have knowen our real names. "Haldir and Legolas are arguing over me, I think. Well, at least as much as elves can argue, anyways." I said happily. "I like Haldir the best" Crystal said off-handedly. "Let's go find those hobbits!" I said.

Many hours later, and obviously many,many pints later for Crystal (I only drank a half-pint, thank you very much!) I took her back to our room and put her in her bed to sleep it all off. I hoped she would'nt be in a hangover during the Council of Elrond tomarrow. Hobbits! rolls eyes I was bored, and now, being an elf, I was not tired at all. I ventured off to go find Arwen, and I hoped she was kind enough to tell me how exactly it is elves sleep and such. Wait, I couldn't do that, I realized in the courtyard. Then it would seem that I was definatly not an elf. Drat. I guess I'd have to figure it out on my own. Later, I thought. "Yo! King Dubble Bubble!" I yelled at Aragorn, who was looking down the river. He looked at me, and I thought I saw a trace of disgust on his face. There I go with my big mouth. "Yes, My lady?" he replied. "Do you even know my name?" I asked. "No." he said. I sighed and then said "Its Lorwen, and your Elessar, righto?" He looked at me in confusion. "What does 'King Dubble Bubble' mean?" He asked. "Oh, sorry Strider-poo. It's just a nickname. Everyone who I see as my friend gets one." I stated proudly. "That's a good thing then, I hope." he said, and smiled. Alright, so far Ele's drunk (as well as every other hobbit in Rivendale), Lego and Haldir (note to self, create nickname for Haldir) are lovestruck fools in my grasp (que evil laughter, again), and Aragorns just dang confused. Oh, yeah, and Gandalf is all knowing. Now, lets see, next on my to do list is... Annoy Elrond. This is going to be hilarious. I strode down the hall towards his study, and I asked one of the elves standing at the door "Hey, do you know where Lord Elrond is?" He said that Lord Elrond was extremely busy with Gandalf. Curses. I'll get him tomarrow, I swear I will. It's not over yet, Elrond.

**Alata**

**AlataAlata**

**Alata**


	3. The Council of Elrond and Departure of t...

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Author's Notes:

Hey! If you've read through the story, then you should know who Crystal is now. She is my best bud in real life, and We've decided that she will write a few chapters on her own, but only for her character's point of view. She'll make her debut in the Mines of Moria, and I will let ya know when it happens. Anyhoo, I don't feel like writing much more for my a/n.

Disclaimer:

To all Lawyers: LOOK! I don't own anything! Stop rubbing it in, and leave me alone!hides in corner and whimpers

California Dreaming,

Danielle.

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Danielle

I slowly woke up, realizing that I had fallen asleep. Huh, I guess elves do doze off. I had a dream where these huge pieces of broccoli all ate the fellowship, except for me. They took me, and made me their queen. Okay, I know. Weird, eh? Anyhow, The princess of the broccoli peoples had to get ready for the council meeting. I guess when Haldir said to "look more formal." He probably meant for me to wear a dress.

I didn't want to, but I didn't want to make anyone mad either, least of all Haldir. I shook Crystal awake, and she told me she was going to sleep in for a while. I told her it was okay, cause the meeting didn't start for another three or four hours. I looked through the closet, and found the perfect dress.

It was a wine red, with these beautiful long sleeves that had little flares at the end. On the sleeves little pearls were embroidered, and a single pearl was sewn on the waist line. I put it on, then I decided to pull down the sleeves a little so the outfit looked almost sleeveless heh, watch out Rivendale. I laughed at the thought, and then walked out on the stone path to the gardens.

Everything there was so green, with these beautiful, exotic flowers. I picked a wine red one that matched my dress. wanting to put it in my hair.

"You know, Lady Lorwen, that those flowers are slightly poisonous." I heard a voice say. I dropped the flower quickly, whipping around to find Haldir behind me. "I do want you to be able to eat at the feast tonight." he said again.

"Er...yes. Thank you for telling me, Blondie." I replied. (gasp! Haldir will forever be known to me as Blondie.)

"Blondie?" Haldir asked. "Is this one of those nicknames I've been hearing you give everyone?"

I nodded. "Then I am glad to finally receive one." He said. I began to laugh, obviously he had no clue what a nickname was supposed to mean (well, it's meant to annoy them!)

"What is it, My lady?" he asked. I replied, "Nothing, Blondie." He locked his arm around mine, and we walked the many paths of Rivendale, with Haldir doing most of the chatting. He spoke of his childhood, meeting Legolas, embarrassing things Legolas did (heh heh), and such.

He had just asked me of when I had first met Ele when a clear bell rang through the city. "Yay! Meeting time!" I said joyfully. Time to annoy the heck out of Elrond, who I from this point on I dub Smithy (as in Agent Smith, you know).

We walked into the small hall, where many chairs were set up in a circle, with a big chair and a small table in front of it. Elrond sat in the macho chair, and me and Haldir sat across from Elrond, two seats down from Leggers.

"Where is Lady Elanor? We need to begin soon." One of the dark-haired elves said. "I'm here, I'm here everyone" Crys said breathing heavily as if she had just run many miles.

"Where is your escort, My lady?" Elrond said. Escort? You mean it's required? That's why Haldir and Legolas volunteered. I thought they had just wanted something to do. "I'm sorry, Lord Elrond. I am not used to your customs quite yet." Elanor said.

You can't blame her, I thought, She is a hobbit. Crystal sat down beside Frodo, and began to peek glances at him every five seconds. For the love of Valar! I sighed. Elrond began his long speech. I mimicked him, moving my lips to copy his words ( I guess all that memorizing paid off,eh?). Legolas looked at me, and I bet if he had been like me and Crys, he would have rolled his eyes. He gave me a sharp look, practically telling me to shut up, NOW!

I stuck my tongue out, and then stopped. Bored again, I twiddled my thumbs. Oh, heres the part where Leggy-poo sticks up for Mr. Bubbles (another name for strider-poo... Elfrock!) Trying to have some fun, I stood up at the exact sane time as Lego and said the exact same things as him. He looked at me questioningly, and Aragorn then told us "Lorwen, Legolas, sit down please." We did as we were told, and I sat down, disgruntled and bored again. YAY! Another idea. I reached into by backpack and grabbed my notebook, pretending to be taking notes (if elves even do that, which I doubt, but whatever). I began to write notes to give to Haldir in elvish, but I will translate it here:

_Me: What do you think of this Ring?_

_Haldir: It must be destroyed, but by elves, or humans, or by dwarves, I do not know,_

_Me: How about if we make up a fellowship combining all of the races?_

_Haldir: I will have to discuss this with you later, I have a feeling Elrond knows that we're not really paying attention. _

Halidr handed me my notebook, and I closed it, then placed it back in my pack. Ok, now what to do? O wait a sec, now they were all arguing, except the hobbits, who were all sitting down, and me. I looked at Ele, and she looked bored too.

Then Frodo stood up bravely and shouted "I will take the ring" No one heard him, the poor thing, cause they were all arguing over who should take the ring. "EVERYONE! DIDN'T YOU HEAR FRODO? STOP ARGUING OVER YOUR MINDLESS CRAP AND ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU ALL ARE WEAK LITTLE NINNIES WHO ARE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO TAKE THE RING TO MORDOR WITHOUT BECOMING POWER HUNGRY FREAKS!" I yelled.

They all looked at me weirdly, and Frodo repeated himself, this time everyone listening intently. "If by my life or death I can protect you, I will." Bubbles said. He bowed and said "You have my sword." And my bow" Legolas said "And my ax!" Gimli said. "Don't forget us! You need us for comic relief!" Crystal said. I laughed, and we ran up. Haldir looked at me sadly, he had probably expected me to spend weeks and weeks of Legolas-free hours with him, instead of going on a dangerous quest...mission...thing. Lol.

Then Pippin Merry and Sam all ran up too, Elrond with a look of complete annoyance then said "Eleven Shall be the number. One ringbearer to match Sauron, one Istari to match Sauruman, and nine people to protect the ringbearer as the Nazgul do." I nodded, and then did a little dance of victory. It want something like this : Twirl, fall on butt, get up, do the Macerana, then fall again trying to breakdance. Elanor laughed. "You are a queer elf." Elrond said. Well, chalk that one up, that's twice been said by two different people. "Then you shall be the Fellowship of the Ring." Elrond said, and Elanor said before Pippen could "So where are we going?" I laughed and replied "WE'RE GOING TO HAWAII BABY!"

Then Elanor and I laughed, everyone else looking mostly confused or leaving the council. I walked up to Haldir and Legolas, who were deep in conversation. I snuck up to Legolas (que Jaws Theme) and then grabbed his shoulders. He yelped, then whipped around. "You!" he said. "The one and only" I replied. "Come with me Lorwen, I wish to teach you archery" Haldir said. Yayness! "All right" I said, and walked off with him.

* * *

I then spent many hours of Legolas-free-ness enjoying Haldir and archery quite a lot. I already knew how to shoot an arrow, but I didn't care. Whenever he touched me I got goosebumps. It was really wonderful, especially when he leaned close to me, and took my arms, holding my hands in the correct stance for shooting. After I finally shot an arrow in the bulls-eye, Haldir held me like he was about to...wait, he was going to kiss me! He leaned forward and - "Lorwen!" Crap, it was Legolas. I will curse him forever.

"We must depart!" he said. He looked smug, I was betting he was happy to brake my and my luv up! I grabbed my backpack off the ground and jogged off. They were all waiting for me, Gandalf looking impatient. "I finally found her out in the archery field with Lord Halidr" Leggers said quickly. Gandalf nodded, and Ele looked at me, then beckoned for me. "What?" I whispered in her ear, crouched on bended knee. "What were you doing out there, Lorwen?" she said. "O nothing, just trying to snog my dream man" I replied.

Crys's eyes went wide with shock. "What about Leggers? I mean how could you!" she said. "I don't know," I said, and then I stood up. "Well, let's get the heck outta here!" I shouted. "You are a queer elf." an elf guard said. "Oh, Auta miqula orqu." I said (in other words, Go kiss an orc).

Crap, another foolish outburst. The guard looked scared, and Elrond ,Legolas, and Haldir all had different expressions on their faces. Elrond's was of pure and utter annoyance, Legolas's was shocked, and Haldir looked like he was about to burst out laughing. I curses them, well, cept for Blondie.

Haldir pulled me aside, whispering in my ear, "Lorwen, Cormamin niuve tenna' ta elea lle au'." (My heart shall weep until it sees thee again) I replied softly " Lissenen ar' maska'lalaith tenna' lye omentuva, Haldir." (Sweet water and light laughter till next we meet) He then kissed me softly (yes, crys, that all famous elvish kiss!), and I gasped slightly. "I am sorry, I could'nt help myself." Haldir said. Yeah right, I thought, but said "No, I liked it Blondie, no worries, all is forgiven."

Then we walked back to the fellowship. As we left Rivendale, I waved my heart out. Ele was not sorrowful in the least, she had her love with her the whole time! Lucky. When we were out of the city, I'm sure my elvish hearing picked up Elrond saying "Amin nowe ron n'kelaya" or, I thought they would never leave. I cursed him silently as we strode down the path.

* * *

A/n again to all the reviewers: 

RenegadeKitsune: I did it! Paragraphs all over plz enjoy.

Sapphie Orb: I don't know but I think you offended Crys. She's REAL!

Kit79: Ty very much

Now I must drool over my new Lego AND Haldie desktop! Oh, yeah. Everyone, there is a sight with a pic of Haldir and how I imagine him to be in the story. Heres the site.

http: bb by loyal fans!


	4. Juicy Fruit, kingdom Hearts, And Twister

Authors Notes:

Now, to all reviewers, I know that kiss was kinda cliche, but I couldn't help myself! And if you still havn't checked out that website it's http: It shows the Haldir as I see him, not as he is in the movie. Alright, just had to get my point across. Next chapter should be Crystal's if she can get it done by then. Now, lets start writing!sips coffee

California Dreaming,

Danielle (aka Lorwen)

Danielle

"Oh, over the hills and through the woods to grandmother's house we go!" I sang loudly.

Crys laughed, and Legger said "Lorwen.."

"The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh!" I replied, getting louder,

"LORWEN!" Lego shouted

"LEGOLAS!" I shouted back.

Legolas sighed and slinked off. "I win!" I said proudly.

"Let us make camp on the hill before crossing the southren pass." Gandy siad. "I have a feeling that the south pass is being wathced, my dear chap." Elanor said, patting Gandalfs back, or actually the back of his leg. "We shall see." Gandy said. "This looks like a good spot, nice and exposed to all," I observed. "But a good watchpoint." stated Lego.

Crystal was digging through my backpack. "Twister!" I heard her yell. "What? I didn't put that in my backpack. Curses you Sierra." I said, automatically blaming my sister. "What's Twister?" Aragorn asked. Me and Crystal snuck glances at eachother, snickering. "Its the one party game..." Crys started. "To Rule Them All!" We both finshed. '

Gandalf looked at us as though we were freaks (which I don't doubt we are), and then he turned to watch Boromier teach Pippen and Merry to sword fight. After a half hour, in which we explained how to play Twister, including which hand is your left, and which is your right, to Leggers, Aragorn, Frodo, and Gimli, I saw the smudge on the distance.

Even with my elvish eyes it was a smudge. "Sauruman's Spies!" I shouted, a little louder then necassary. Everyone scurried to pack up camp. I tripped over at least three hobbits on my way to hide under a bush. Me and Lego were the last to find a hiding spot, we both ended up under a scraggly bush behind a rock.

I flattened myself on the ground, and he did to. When those birds passed over, it was super creepy. They circled around for about five minutes, then left. With one hand, I had been biting my fingernails, and with the other I had been squeezing Lego's hand.

Legolas tried to jerk his hand out of my grip, but it was my all known death grip. He was not going anywhere, hee hee. Alright, I eventually let go to Lego's relief.

"The pass is being watched. We must go over the mountain" Gandalf said. Well, ain't that just dandy. I reached into my backpack and grabbed Crystals light blue parka and my black Hurley jacket. We put them on, and I realized how weird we looked.

But who cared, we'd be freezing our butts off in about ten minutes now. As we climbed the trail up, I once again sifted through my back pack.

"Hey Ele, theres gum in here!" I said.

"Want some juicyfruit?" I asked Legolas. He looked at it interestingly, then stuffed it in his mouth, almunum and all.

"Stupid elf! You were supposed to take the cover off first!" Ele told him.

Legolas sheepishly accpeted another piece, this time carefully taking off the wrapper.

"This is loads better then that Lembas stuff" Merry said.

"Can I have two pieces?" Pip asked. He was starting to sound like Sierra. Laughing, I gave him a little bit. Crystal's parka was too big for her now, but it was still warm for her, so she was happy.

Mine was too short. Curses. I gave it to Frodo and then shivered. Why can't elves have built-in heating systems as well! I wanted more then anything to find a Starbucks coffeeshop on the mountain, just around the corner. The first sight of snow, surprisingly, was a ten foot drift.

We walked around it, then we ended up in waist deep snow, well, at least waist deep for me. For Ele it was over her head. I pity her, and the Humans, and Gandalf. Me and Lego were skipping on top of the snow.

"Prancy little elves" Crystal muttered.

"Shit-faced drunk little hobbits" I snapped back.

Crystal rolled her eyes, and then jumped into Legos arms, smirking at me. She then put the back of her hand to her forehead and said "Carry me to the top, my love! I feel I cannot go further!"

Legolas dropped her disgusted, and I laughed.

"Stop laughing and carry me on your back, Lorwen." Ele said.

"Puh'leze! How are you gonna make me oh master of the tavren!" I joked, poking Crystal.

"I'll tell everyone about that little dream you told me you had with a certain member of this group." She said tauntingly. Shit, I had no choice. I bent down and she hopped on my back.

I convinced Lego to carry my backpack. Suddenly the mountain shook, and I heard Sauruman's voice. Crap, this is the part where I know I'm going to get serious frostbite. Mounds of snow fell down on us, and I was crushed.

I sat there for many minutes, not being able to talk, for my lungs were crushed. Jeez, I could barely even breath! Must not black out, Must no black out... Finally I felt little hobbit feet trampling me.

"Found her!" I heard Sam shout. Legolas grabbed my arm, and pulled me out, brushing snow off me. I gasped for breath, there were these huge spots in front of my eyes.

"Is she okay?" Ele asked.

"Yeah I'm fine.." I said still gasping. Everyone began to talk, and I ignored them, becuase I had found my Gameboy SP and I was playing Kingdom Hearts. Yayness!

"Then we shall pass through the Mines of Moria." I heard Gandy say. Shit! I was clausterphobic, I hated being under ground. This was going to suck Crystal looked at me, and then motioned to Gandalf. I nodded, knowing his death was near. We walked down the mountain slowly, with me shotting worried looks at Gandy every five seconds. Enjoying Him while he was still Gray and still knew his name.


	5. Of Clausterphobic Elves & Butter Knives

I finished! Yay! Yes! Meep! Woot! WAHOO! Happy day! it turned out to be six pages long, and I ended it when Frodo is mourning over Gandalf. (Right when they come out of Moria.) This is exactly how I typed it... feel free to upload it anytime.

Chapter 5: Of Claustrophobic Elves and Butter Knives

A/N: Hello, this is x-LadyoftheRing-x. I will be writing a few chapters in, "The Almost Two Heroes of Middle-earth' from the viewpoint of Crystal (AKA Elanor).. I'm apologizing in advance for any typos, horribly bad canon, or anything else that you flamers like to rant about. That being said, let's get on with the story!

Disclaimer: I own everything! You heard me correctly, I own it all! Which is precisely why I'm writing a fanfic about my OWN creation, because I don't want to make millions off of it. Queue Tolkien turning over in his grave …alright, I don't own anything. But that doesn't mean I can't pretend. Right? …right!

Crystal

Sam was redistributing all of the bags from Bill the pony, practically sobbing.

"Buh-bye, Bill." he said sadly. Aragorn walked over to Sam and tried to comfort him. "Don't worry, Sam. He knows the way home."

I was busy skipping stones over the water nearby, trying to pass the time. Merry and Pippin started to follow, and Mr. Bubbles decided to ruin our fun. He grabbed Merry's arm. "Do not disturb the water." Mean old Mr. Bubbles.

Meanwhile, Gandalf was starting to give up on opening the accursed door thingamabob. I walked over to Lorwen. "Lorwen" I whispered. "What is it" She replied. "I think we should try and help ol' Gandy out over there." He was banging his head against the door, screaming 'For the love of Valar, open!' occasionally. "I think you may be right, my little hobbity friend." "Well, I have an idea." 

After careful planning, and much consideration, we finally cam up with a plan. I stole all of Sam's cooking gear, and Lorwen fashioned a megaphone out of a piece of notebook paper from her backpack of backpackiness. We both grabbed a pan, some spoons, and proudly ran around making as much noise as possible. Lorwen held the paper megaphone up to her mouth. "Elanor and I have an announcement to make" All of the fellowship moaned, aside from Gandalf who seemed to be suffering from head trauma. "We like to be FRIENDS" Everyone resumed what they were doing before, (nothing) while we ran around shouting 'friends' for the next ten minutes.

Frodo stepped up, brows furrowed to the door. "It's a riddle. Speak 'friend' and enter... what's the elvish word for friend" At the same time, Gandalf, Lorwen and I all said 'mellon.' The stone, mountain, rock, door thing opened to show the dark chasm that we were about to enter.

Lorwen peered inside of the dark opening nervously. I cocked an eyebrow, and looked at her curiously. "Oh, come on now. What's the matter?" She looked extremely paranoid. "Well, it's just that… I don't exactly like the idea of being underground, with a bunch of dead bodies. Along with the fact that we'll be cased by a giant demon of flamey doom!" "Come on, it won't be that bad."

At that, I turned to Frodo, took his and dragged him inside. The rest of the Fellowship came inside and started walking around. Gimli began to gloat about how 'hospitable' his dead cousin was, when Borimir stated the obvious. "This is no mine, it's a tomb" Gimli started screaming at the top of his lungs. I clung to Frodo from the sudden noise, and Borimir was shouting nonsense about"Going back to his city" and"We never should have come here." Foolish human...

I started walking back to the door, Frodo in tow, when he slipped from out of my arms. Sam, Merry, Pippin and I all shouted"Frodo" Apparently the gargantuan octopus had grabbed Frodo by the leg. Sam began to hack away at the tentacle that was holding onto Frodo, when I realized that I had no weapon. I ran over to Lorwen's backpack, and found a butter knife at the bottom of her endless backpack.

"Damn ,this thing is useful." 

We, (as in all of the hobbits) started stabbing the octopus thingie with whatever we could get our hands on, whilst Sam and Merry screamed for Bubbles to help. We eventually got Frodo down, only for Borimir to catch him. Curses.

Everyone ran inside, Lorwen included, as boulders rained down on our only exit.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Part Two: More Twister and Muffins!

As soon as the rock wall now behind us settle, Gandalf whispered some sweet nothings to his staff, which began glowing. Lorwen handed out flashlights to everyone.

"We now have but one choice. We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world." Said Dandy Gandy.

We all began to pick our way across the floor, that is, round the dead bodies.

Lorwen not only seemed to be claustrophobic, but she was also grossed out by the skeletons littering the floor. She's an elf! Elves aren't supposed to be bothered by the dead! Foolish elf. "Elle… I see dead people." She stuttered. I took her endless backpack of DOOM off of her shoulders, handed her a teddy bear, and ran back over to Frodo. Gandy started up again.

"Quietly now. It's a four-day journey to the other side. Let us hope that our presence may go unnoticed."

"Oh, joy." I said. Not only was there no light, no chance to go off and snog Frodo, AND no possible way of defending myself, we'd be down there for four days not able to make a sound. I curse this evil place! Curse it!

We eventually came to a flight of stairs. Unfortunately, each step was as tall as I was. Curses.

Pippin slipped onto Merry, who yelled at Pippin, at which point I yelled at Merry. After the ensuing fight, causing everyone to take twice as long to climb the stairs, we reached the top. Once again, we came to a problem.

"I have no memory of this place"

We were all standing in front of three ominous doors, all leading in different directions. Pippin started complaining that he was hungry, so I grabbed Lorwen's trusted backpack again.

"What are those?" Pippin asked.

"This my friend, is a muffin." I held up a glorious blueberry muffin. I handed them out to all of the fellowship, who all approved. Leggy-poo even deemed it better than Lembas. By this time, Gandalf had figured out the correct way to go. In the wise words of Toucan Sam he said, "No, but the air doesn't smell so foul down here. If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose."

We walked down the passageway into a large room. Gandalf illuminated the room with his staff, for all of our mouths to drop open. The movies (nor the books) gave justice to what we were looking at.

We were standing in a gigantic room, where there were pillars carved into stone, stretching as far as I could see. There was an amazing attention to detail here, and it was obvious that it had taken thousands of years to sculpt the pillars. They reached the very tops of the ceiling, which loomed over us, probably a hundred feet in height. The ceiling disappeared into a black void, which was creepy, it was also beautiful at the same time. It was amazing.

After much walking, Gimli turned his head and started wailing. He ran towards a room with a bright light emitting from it. Gimli started yelling (again.) and ran inside. He started sobbing, kneeling over the grave of his cousin.

Cry baby. We all followed into the large room, almost like all of the others, but there was a well, Balin's tomb, and a large book laying somewhere in between the two objects. The floor was also riddled with corpses and arrows.

Gandalf examined the inscription on the tomb, translating it for the rest of us. "'Here lies Balin, son of Fundin, Lord of Moria.' He is dead then. Its as I feared." Gandy leaned over towards pippin and handed him his hat and staff, taking the book lying on the floor. He cleared off the dust and dirt lying on the cover.

Leggo leaned over towards Mr. Bubbles, whispering. "We must move on," said Leggo. "We cannot linger." Apparently Lorwen was enjoying her elvish hearing to the fullest extent, and was eavesdropping on their every word.

Gandalf began to read the last entry from the journal. "They have taken the bridge, and the second hall. We have barred the gates, but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes. Drums, drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A Shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out...They are coming."

Pip set down Gandy's cane and hat. He began walking towards the well, and his eyes were brimming with curiosity.

There was a skeleton sitting on the edge of the well, with an arrow sticking out of its torso. It was holding onto a chain, linked to a bucket sitting on the edge. Pippin lightly touched the arrow, causing the skeleton's head to roll over, followed by the body, chain and bucket. The sound echoed throughout the entire room, with him wincing at every wave of noise that followed.

Gandalf walked over to him, and picked up his staff and hat. "Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!" Oh, those sweet words.

Seconds later, the sound of drums started to come from the floor. Sam indicated to all of us that Frodo's sword was glowing, whereas Leggy reclaimed his title as Mr. Obvious. "Orcs!" he cried. Borimir ran to the door, and got several arrows near his face as a welcome. Aragorn told all of the Hobbits to stay close to Gandalf, when I started to protest that neither Lorwen or I had anything to defend ourselves with.

He repeated himself. I jumped into Frodo's arms, and to my surprise (and delight) he held onto me. Yay!

A battle ensued, with much violence, blood and gore. Lorwen grabbed me and we both ran into a corner away from all of the fighting. I was happy to see all of them kick some major ass, until a few orcs discovered us in the corner. Aragorn ran over and stabbed both of them in the back.

Lorwen was waving her arms in the air, screaming for Legolas to save her.

"Thank you, o mighty Bubbles!" I said.

Aragorn nodded and continued fighting.

The battle continued for a while, when the annoying cave troll appeared. He made a beeline for Sam, who dodged underneath his mighty mace of maceyness. Lorwen and I were playing some more twister.

"Left hand on green!"

"Right foot on blue!"

"There's an evil cave troll about to mutilate Frodo!"

"…there's no space for that."

Frodo started yelling. "Aragorn? Aragorn!"

Frodster stabbed the cave troll in his hand, (nice one) and fell to the floor. Aragorn ran towards the troll, and stabbed him in the chest with a spear. The troll looked rather pissed off, which was fair enough now that he had a bleeding hand and a twenty foot pole sticking out from his abdomen. The troll took his good hand and knocked Aragorn across the room. Frodo ran over to him, trying to get him up. Poor Frodo. The troll took the spear, pole, thingie out of his chest, and rammed it towards Frodo.

Frodo foamed at the mouth rather attractively, (only the way HE can) and moaned. He slumped to the ground. Uh-oh, the troll tried something. Sam's going to have to kill him… maniacal laughter in the distance I ran over to his side and grabbed his hand, rubbing it in between my own.

Merry and Pippin leaped onto the troll and began bashing it in the head with their lil' daggers. Merry was flung onto the ground, and Gandalf and Gimli went psycho on all of the orcs. And the troll. Leggo took aim at the trolls neck, and Pippin took another slash at it's head. The troll reared its head back, and Legolas shot an arrow straight into it's neck. The troll let out a groan and fell to the floor, knocking Pippin unconscious next to him.

The fellowship ran over to Frodo to see if he was alright. He lifted his head up, and groaned again.

Sam's face glowed. "He's alive!"

I rolled my eyes, and reluctantly stepped back a few feet.

Frodo stood up, leaning against the wall. "I'm alright, I'm not hurt."

I clapped my hands, and started dancing with Lorwen.

"You should be dead!" Exclaimed Mr. Bubbles. "That spear would have skewered a wild boar!"

Gandalf raised an eyebrow, and said, "I think that there's more to this hobbit than meets the eye."

Frodo looked up at Gandy, and lifted up the edge of his shirt (SQUEE!) to reveal his mithril shirt.

"Mithril! You are full of surprises, Master Baggins." commented Gimli-kins.

The sound of orcs were heard again down the hall.

"To the bridge of Khazad-dum!" Shouted Gandalf. We all ran out the door, back into the hall we were in before. Orcs were crawling out of the ceiling like termites, and we were soon surrounded. A bright, orange light came from the end of the hall. 

"What is this new devilry?" Whispered Borimir.

"A Balrog- a demon of the ancient world. This foe is beyond any of you. Run!"

We all ran down the hall, towards a large staircase. Borimir almost fell off the edge, but Legolas caught him. Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo and I all came running up from behind, coming dangerously close to the edge of the stair as well. Lorwen, Gandalf and Aragorn brought up the rear.

"Gandalf." Said Bubbles.

Gandalf turned to Aragorn. "Lead them on Aragorn. The bridge is near. Do as I say! Swords are no more use here."

We all came to the infamous gap in the stairs. Leggo leaped across it, beckoning Gandalf to come over. Gandalf leapt after him. Arrows started coming towards us, and a few hit the steps near our feet. Lorwen screamed and jumped across, carrying me with her.

"Curses, you vile, unelvish fool!" I yelled.

"Oh, be quiet." She said. "You'll thank me later!"

Legolas and Aragorn were shooting arrows back at the orcs opposite to us, whilst Borimir, Merry and Pippin hopped over. Aragorn tossed Sam over to Borimir. He reached over to pick up Gimli, but he raised his hand.

"Nobody tosses a dwarf." He leaped over the gap, but tripped on the edge. Legolas caught him by the beard. Lorwen and I started laughing, but to our dismay, the steps Frodster and Bubbles were on started to crumble. The light from the Balrog came through an opening on the other side of the bridge. A large rock fell in between the bridge, separating Frodo and Aragorn from the rest of us. The rock fell through, weakening the foundation of the crumbling bridge even more. The two of them were standing on an isle in the middle of the Balrog and the fellowship. Aragorn indicated to shift their weight, and they came crashing into the rest of us. We all ran down the stairs, as they crumbled behind us. (Indiana Jones style, oh yeah!)

"Over the bridge!" shouted Gandalf. "Fly!"

We all ran across a narrow bridge, just reaching the other side, when the Balrog came in. Damn flaming imp!

"You cannot pass!" Gandalf illuminated his staff, creating a white, force fieldish thing around him. I resisted the urge to go and touch it.

"Gandalf!" shouted Frodo. I swooned.

Gandy continued. "I am the servant of the Secret fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. The dark fire will not avail you! Flame of Udun!"

The Balrog hit Gandalf with his flaming sword of coolness. Gandalf parried with his sword, somehow shattering the Balrog's sword.

"Go back to the shadow!"

The Balrog brandished his whip. FLAMING whip. Everything's cooler when it's on fire.

"YOU… SHALL NOT… PASS!" Screamed Gandalf. He slammed his staff into the bridge. The Balrog went to step forward, and the floor collapsed from under him. I ran around doing a victory dance with Lorwen.

We chanted, "Gandy beat the Balrog! Gandy beat the Balrog!"

He leaned over his staff, exhausted. At the last second, the Balrog's whip came up, wrapping it around Gandalf's ankle and dragged him over the edge. Frodo ran forward to help him, but Borimir held him back.

"No, Frodo!" said Borimir.

"Gandaaaaaaaaaaalf!" Screamed Frodo.

Gandalf lost his grip on the edge. "Fly, you fools."

"Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" Screamed Frodo- again.

Borimir grabbed Frodo, and called for Aragorn. Frodo was still screaming.

Aragorn stood, staring at the bridge for a moment, in shock. Lorwen and I had stopped dancing a while back, and I was running towards Borimir and Frodo. We all ran out towards the exit, chased by orcs and flurries of arrows. We finally emerged into the daylight.

Sam was bent over, head in his hands, weeping. Merry was holding Pippin who was crying. Legolas stood looking out into the distance. (Damn pansy elf!) Borimir was trying to restrain Gimli, who was, er, venting. I was sobbing, using the edge of Lorwen's sleeve as a handkerchief. She was crying as well.

"Lorwen, why are we crying?"

"Because our bishies are crying, Leggo is hot, and Frodo won't smile again until the end of The Two Towers!" We both continued crying.

"Legolas, get them up." Said Aragorn.

"Give them a moment, for pity's sake." replied Borimir.

"By nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs! We must reach the woods of Lothlórien. Come Borimir, Legolas, Gimli, get them up. On your feet, Sam." he hoisted up Sam, who sniffled. Aragorn looked around.

"Frodo? Frodo!"

Frodo stood a few feet away, silent. A tear ran down the side of his cheek.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Well, that's the end of the chapter. Sorry it took so long to post, but I'm a slow writer. Please review, but flamers will be fed to my bodyguards cannibalistic potato chips. Stay tuned!


	6. Lorien and Hobbit Snogging

* * *

Authors Notes:

I hope everyone liked the last chapter by me friend. Shes a good writer, right? gives u a glare Good. Anyways, heres more! Most of this chapter is based on the book.

Calfornia Dreaming,

Danielle

* * *

Danielle

I still wasn't over the whole Gandalf dying and the smelly caves of Moria thing. It was really creepy. Everyone was extremely sad, most of all Frodo. Crystal was having a hell of a time trying to cheer him up. We ran thorugh the fields bordering Lorien, as night was about to fall.

It was getting cold, so I put my hood up, as did everyone else. We came to a small river, and Aragorn chose to camp here. Gimli began to make a fire, and Legolas began lecturing everyone on the Nimrodel, a.k.a the little river. I wandered away from camp, taking a few steps everytime someone looked away from me. Then when I was far enough away, I ran my heart out till I was alone in the woods.

The moon shone thorugh trees, refelecting off the pale gold leaves. It was one thing to read about this place, but uite another to actually be standing here, witnessing it all. I heard whispers, and I whipped around. No one anywhere around me, alright. Then three elves jumped down from above and around me. Next thing I knew I had three arrows pointing at my cloaked face as well.

"Who are you and what business do you have in then Lady's realm" A familar voice said.

"Haldir" I cried, recognizing his voice.

"What" He said.

"Blondie it's you" I said again, running up and hugging him. He looked up as I pulled away and he blushed.

"Who is this" One of the blonde guards asked. He had a husky voice.

"This is the Lady Lorwen" Haldir said. The guard nodded his head understandingly, Dang! Haldir had told them about me! I was hoping he hadn't.

"What are you doing here? Where is everyone else? You shouldn't be wondering alone. My friends here almost shot you." Haldir said.

"I know, I know. The fellowship's off a little ways. Just follow me..." I said, brushing off his little comment, even though I almost shuddered at the thought of being shot at by an elf.

I walked down the path, getting a little side tracked though sometimes here and there. I listened to the Nimrodel for guidance though, and that helped a little. I pushed through a bunch of bushes, and came to a clearing.

Crap, I didn't remeber this place. There were two figures, sitting on a flat stone by the river. I could tell they were hobbits, they were so small (or they were elvish children, but I doubt it). One whispered something softly, and then they kissed.

"Where are we" The other guard asked.

Stupid idiot, because then the smaller hobbit jumped up, brandshing a sword. "Ele" I shouted. She had a seriously pissed off look on her face.

"WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING? SPYING ON ME? OH, GOD. AND YOU HAD TO BRING BLONDIE AND HIS FRIENDS TOO, DID YA! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU" Crystal yelled, and then she stormed off, Frodo (who had been the one kissing her) in tow.

Crud. I shot the guard a look of utter anger, and he sort of backed off, expecting me to yell too. But I just flipped my hair in a very blonde-im-just-gonna-ignore-everyone-and-walk-off sorta way. I ran trough the forest until I found the rest of the fellowship. Crys was already there, fuming and not looking in my direction. I choose to ignore her, too, and I walked up to Bubbles.

"How was your walk" he said.

"Oh, just great" I said sarcasticaly.

"Thats good." Aragorn said. Oh, Valar! Sometimes!

"Oh, yes, I nearly got shot by my own kindred, I found Haldir, he's gone off with his mouth and told every elf in Lorien about 'us' and now Elanors's extemely mad at me." I said practically ripping off Bubble's measly head.

"If I had known I was making you angry by telling my friends I wouldn't have." Haldir said behind me.

"Haldir" Aragorn said.

"It is nice to see you again Estel." Haldir said, then he turned to us all , saying"We have platforms in the trees, that is where we will rest tonight. Hopefully it will keep us safe from orcs tonight."

Ladders were tossed down from the trees above, and Haldir said "Me, Lorwen, and one of my guards are going to be in this tree, all of the hobbits and the other guard will be in that tree. The rest shall sleep in that tree" Haldir said poiting to the farthest one.

Everyone walked to their assigned trees, or in me and Crys's cases, stomped. I stuck my tounge out at her as I climbed up the ladder. When I came to the top, Haldir, wo had gotten up there first, reached out to help pull me up. Once I reached the top, the view was beautiful. Everything shimmerd with a light blue hue.

"Breathtaking, is it not" Haldir said . I was still too mad at him to answer. He walked up to me, putting his arm around my shoulder and hugging me close. Curses him, he was trying to get me back to not being mad at him. And it was working!

"Come, do not fret over tonight. You should be resting." He said.

"That's easy enough for you, you havn't lost your only and best friend" I growled at Haldir.

He turned me to face him, and said "She is not your only friend, A'maelamin. (my beloved)." he said.

He kissed me, and I heard something, almost like a snigger. I turned around, and there was elf guard one (a.k.a stupid elf guard.) I took a pebble off of the ground and threw it at his head. He whimpered, and climbed down the ladder. I laughed slightly, and then turned back to Blondie. He had sat down on the edge, his long legs hanging over.

"Whats wrong" I asked.

"It's the sea. Its calling me, and I want to answer so bad. But I cannot yet, for there is still much to be done." He said, looking at me.

"I'm sorry, but I do not really understand." I sighed.

"Can you not feel it? It tugs on your mind slightly, calling your name softly. We were meant to be there, in Valinar, not in the lands of mankind." Haldir said, looking out to the west with a look in his eyes. I closed my eyes, and I then I realized I could feel it , the sea was calling me. "Come, Home, Lorwen." It whispered in elvish. I opened my eyes quicky, trying to shake off the feeling of longing that was overtaking me.

"I see now, it does feel like something that is just out of our grasp, yet...I..I..I can't explain it exactly." I stuttured.

"You don't have too." Haldir said. Then he kissed me again, his warm body close to mine. I put my arm around his neck, and we made out for what felt like four or five minutes (they were the best in my life!), when a blonde head popped out from the hole.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, My Lord and Lady, but yrch (a.k.a orcs) are nearby. " the head said.

"We shall stay up here, I have a feeling they are just passing by. Run to the hobbits, and tell Gladuilmil (oh,so they do have names...) to roll up there ladder, then tell the same to the rest. You may stay in their talan until the yrch are gone, then report to me, alright" Haldir ordered. I was scared, I hadn't had fight yet , and I didn't want to do it now. I put my head on Haldir's shoulder, and soon enough the little blonde head popped up again.

"They are gone, my lord. No damage was done." He said. Haldir motioned for him to come up, and they chatted together for awhile, while I sat around. I began to sing, but softly, not in my usual annyoing tone, and I was singing in elvish. (cept I'm translating, so there!)

"Lay Down,

Your sweet and weary head,

Night is falling,

You have come to journey's end.

Sleep now,

And Dream of the ones that came before you,

They are calling,

From Across the distant shore.

Why do you weep?

What are these tears upon your face,

Soon you will see,

All of you fears will pass away!

Safe in my arms,

Your only sleeping"

I finshed, feeling content to have translated that song into elvish. It was cool-sounding, but it didn't rhyme anymore. Curses.

"That was beautiful, yet I have never heard it before." Said Stupid Elf Guard 1 (or just 1).

"You would not know it, but it is a song we sing often in my homecoutry." I said. I missed Home, I missed my bed, my palm tree, my dogs,my horse, my parrot, my mom, my sister! A tear rolled down my cheek as I thought of them. Will I ever see them again?

"Lady, I did not mean to make you sorrowful I am sorry." 1 said. He climbed down the ladder to go take watch, Haldir will have to take watch too in about an hour or two. I didn't know elves could cry, but I must've been an exception. Haldir walked over to where Iwas sitting and put his hands on my shoulders. He didn't say anything, for there wasn't anything he could say. Eventually I stopped crying, and hugged Haldir. Just him being there made me fell better.

"Lorwen, can I talk to you" Elanor had just come up, and wanted to talk to me on the other side of the tree.

"Crys, can we make up, please,please,please" I asked.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I talked to the other elf guard, he said that you weren't trying to sneak up on me. I'm sorry for yelling at you" She replied

"I'm sorry then for ruining your moment, I know how it feels. So what, that's three times 1 has inturuppted us" I asked.

"Yeah. Look, I've got to go, I havn't slept yet and I need to. I'm not a prancy elf like you." Crys said, and she jumped down the ladder. I laughed, and waved good-bye when she reached the bottem. "Don't do anything rash" She said winking and motioning towards Haldir.

"Watch yourself too, and be glad Haldir didn't hear that nasty little comment of yours" I yelled at Crys.

"Too late." Haldir said behind me. Shoot, Crystal ran off, laughing her head off.

"Fine! Be that way" I shouted back at her. "I'll get ya later, much later."

Then I grew bored, again, for only the billionth time. I rummaged through my backpack, finding my pop-tarts I had stuffed into there a few weeks ago. Maybe they were still good, maybe they weren't, but I didn't give a care. I ripped it open and stuffed it in my mouth, on a rampent sugar craze. Haldir laughed heartily, most likely at my eating habits not being very elvishy and all. He sat behind me and began to braid my hair. Crystal was right, he was a nancy elf, but he was MY nancy elf.

When that was done, I found a necklace in my backpack. It was my necklace I had gotten at Knott's Berry Farm a few months ago. It was a green leaf, with golden lining on a golden chain. I got an idea. Copying Arwen, I took his hand in mine, and then place the necklace in it. He looked at it intently, and then put it on. It looked good on him, the gold in it bringing out his eyes.

"You can have it to remeber me by, even when I'm far,far away." I told him softly. Then I reached into my backpack, AGAIN! There was no end to the fun when it was around. I pulled out another necklace, a gold ring on a gold chain, with that writing etched on it.

"YEE! (elvish for eek!) A ring of power" Haldir said loudly.

"No,no silly blondie. It's just a copy. It doesn't even shoot laser bolts or anything fun like that." I said sadly. He laughed, poor thing. He needed therapy. I needed therapy. Hell, everyone in this fellowship needed therapy. I giggled at the thought.

"Haldir, tell me more about Legolas, you know, the embarresing things" I said, wanting to hear him speak of it again.

He laughed and said "Saesa, A'maelamin" or "pleasure, my beloved." When then chatted until Haldir had to go to watch, then I dozed off once again, obviously denying all ways off the elves.


	7. Lothlorien and Elf Snogging

Authors Notes:

Yayness! Last chapter was filled with simultanious snogging! Heh heh. Anyhoo, now's the part where we enter creepy elf witch lady's city, so be afraid, be very afraid! Haa haa hee hee. Enjoy, and rr everyone...bte, this is a bit more angsty, and not too much humor, so I'm sorry, but I'll aim to make it funnier next chapter!

California Dreaming,

Danielle

P.S. Renegade Kitsune...Ty for all the support, two reviews and counting! woo-hoo!

Everyone else (this means u, sapphire orb..): Anyone who claims leggers and/or haldie to be theirs or a 'friends' , be prepared for me to come knocking on your (or your 'friends'door), old hockey mask over my face and a chainsaw in my hand. Muhahahahah!

Danielle

I felt a weight jump onto my stomach. "Wake up, elf! I thought you couldn't sleep" Crystal yelled into my ears. I groaned as I attmepted to wake up.

"We are on our way to see the Lady of the Realm" Haldir said. Now I was awake.

"Hey Haldir. Hey Eleanor. Ele, I'm just gonna let ya know, I'm NOT your every-day elf, k? So please excuse the occasional snoozing, I wasn't tired, just bored out of my mind." I said, explaining as I packed up my backpack. "No one follow me, I'll be right back. " I said.

I slipped down the ladder, and ran to the river. I wanted to look at least ok for the lady, so I quickly bathed in the Nimrodel and then changed into my jeans and Roxy t-shirt I had found. Curses, the pants were too short, but it was ok since they looked like capris. The shirt though, could've been a problem, meaning it was showing quite a bit of my waist. Oh, what the hell, who cares? I also now smelled like "Tropical Paridise Peach Bath Soap". When I walked back, I got mixed reactions...

"Finally, I knew it wouldn't be long before the elf had to take a bath" Ele said exasperated. I stuck my tounge out at her.

"You're wearing that" Legolas said.

"Yes" I replied. "I wanted to show everyone our culture, it's fun to be unique. " I said, now my tounge sticking out a Lego.

Lego stuttered, but Haldir replied "That is wonderful, but now we must be on our way, I want to reach the city before nightfall, I don't want another chance of an orc raid." We all nodded, well, cept for Pip. He was asleep still, no one could wake him up. All elves pulled straws (which I had found in my backpack) and of course, I had to carry him first. Muttering elvish curses under my breath (sadly there are very few and they aren't really offending weep) I picked him up in my arms. He woke as we reached the gates of the city, mutturing something about lembas bread and pumpkins. Ok... I finally convinced him to walk on his own, and he finally succeded in catching up to Frodo and Crys, who was now avidly describing Dance Dance Revolution and then the Matirx to him. Frodo shot me a confused look, and I giggled. I truely pitied Frodo about now.

My breath caught in my throat as we walked through the gates to the city. Everything was glowing slightly blue, even in the day. Many talans were in the giant trees, but they were beautifully carved, with steps instead of ladders. It was nothing like our little military outpost. The elves were singing a song of welcome, but I couldn't translate fast enough to get it. It was a song of hope though, something about vanqushing evil, and then moving on. Hm.

"Welcome. Eleven left Rivendale, yet only ten have arrived. Tell me. What has become of Gandalf" A tall blonde elf said, I think it was Lord Celebron.

"He has fallen into shadow..." Galadriel said softly. Her voice was strong, yet soft. I was not afraid of her, she was kind and beautiful, but maybe it was just because I was an elf, and elves worship "The Lady". sighs

MEEP! She began to speak in my head, and I knew this was going to happen, but still, it was extremely freaky.

"_Welcome, Lorwen. You have come through much time and distance to reach us here. I know why and how you have come." _She said.

_"Why? And how" _I responded eagerly.

"_Now is not the time to tell you, Lorwen, but I will tell you and your friend before you depart." _She replied.

Now she turned to face everyone, speaking outside of that empty peanut shell you call my head. "You may stay for two days to recover from your journey, but then you must depart, for with you, you bring a great evil into this peaceful forest. Now, go, and may your rest be sweet." She and her husband turned and walked into the forest, walking quickly.

"Alright, do we get our own talan, or are we sleeping on the ground" I asked Haldie.

"I belive the Lady has a talan here large enough to fit you all, plus me and the two other guards." He replied.

"Okay, so let's go check it out then. Anyways, I've got to drop off my backpack up there." I said, and with that he led us through the city to a good-sized talan, and we climed up it. Gimli was huffing by the time we had reached the top, it had been about a seven minute climb. I was thristy, so I went to look for my water bottle in my pack. Instead, I found a bottle of Dr. Pepper.

"Hey, Ele" I shouted.

"What" She replied, turning her gaze from Frodo.

"Do you think Legolas should try a little bit of Dr. Pep" I told her, shaking the bottle slightly. It was so much fun to pick on poor Leggers.

"Here, I have a gift for you..." I told Legolas. He took the bottle, and slowly twisted off the cap. The drink fizzlled slightly.

"Am I sure this isn't something poisonus" Lego asked. I ripped it from his hands, taking a sip.

"There! Happy now" I said, impatiently waiting for him to drink it. But in the end it was all worth the look on Legolas's face.

"YEE! What is this? It went all up my nose too!And why is it so full of air" Legolas said. I would have answered his latter question, but I didn't really know how come it was so full of air. Go figure.

I layed out my blankets I had been using to sleep in, and the piled my jacket into a lump big enough to serve as my pillow. Then I drifted off to sleep, listining to the Hobbits arguing over the last blueberry muffin.

The days we spent in Lothlorien were wonderful, most of the time I hung out with Haldir, just enjoying being with him. Once in a while we'ed hold hands, and sometimes we even kissed (not in front of anyone though. That'd be too embarresing!). Crystal and Frodo we saw often, and they seemed to be the perfect couple as well. It was so cute to see them together, almost like watching two little kid's romance (even tough they are far from being little kids) On our last night in Lothlorien, Crystal and I began a game of Yahtzee with Gimli, Aragorn, Legolas, Merry, and Frodo. But then Blondie walked up to speak to me before I even got a turn...

"Lorwen, would you come with me? I want to show you something.." Haldir said. I had a feeling he was going to be doing more then just showing me something...but I didn't give a care. I nodded and followed him down the steps. We walked down a long path for about twenty minutes, so I began to whistle a tune. I didn't know, nor care, what the tune was though..

"It's right here..." Haldir said, and then we turned the corner. I gasped as this huge tree came into view. It was obviously at the center of the city, and on it's branches were these beautiful bulbs of light, a soft blue color in each one. So that's where the city got it's light from...

"It's so beautiful.. as is everything in Lorien.." I said in awe.

"Really? I think it's nothing compared to the Lady Lorwens beauty..." Haldir said. Acursed mary-sueish elf!

"Looks aren't eveything..." I said. Acursed mary-sueish me!

"True." Haldir said. He had been outwitted! Heh heh.

He then held his arms around my waist from behind me. Yay! Elves are so cool when it comes to times like these. We stood like that for about three or four minutes, just enjoying eachother. Then I turned around and rested my head on his shoulder, him stroking his fingers through my hair (MY nancy elf!). Elanor then came to running to me, her little scwrany hobbit feet carrying her as fast as they could go.

"The Lady has called for us! I don't know why though..." She said. Well, I guess the Lady hadn't told Crys what she had told me.

I let go of Haldir and said "See ya in about a few hours, Mela en' coiamin" I shouted back. He blushed furiously (hey I didn't know elves could do that!), but I couldn't blame him, 'cause I had just called him love of my life. Then me and Crys walked back down the path together, leaving blondie on his own.

We approached the clearing where they had told us to go, and there was the Lady, sitting on an intricate chair. I bowed, having to pull Crys down with me, or else she would have just reamained standing.

"Welcome to our haven, Ladies of the distant realm. I summoned you to tell you of how you are here, and why." Galadriel said. Story time! I thought. And finally, I get to know how this all happned.

"It began before Young Frodo had left the Shire. Sauruman the White, chief of the Istari, had just discovered a way to bring someone from the future. He really wanted to do this, but it could only be done one way. He had to kill to get it, and he did not have a choice of who he got. It was totally random. Using his powerful magic, he reached into the future, and he caused your deaths."

"WHAT" I shouted, forgetting all manners..

"We're dead." Crys asked.

"Let me explain, Ladies. When you died, a kind of portal opened, allowing you to come to Isnegard. Gandalf, though, luckily sensed that you had arrived, and came to retrive you before Saurman could. I am sorry to tell you, there is no going back, and now you are here forever, until the end of your days." Galdriel said, sighing. So I never was going back? I really was gone, and now everyone back home would miss me too as well. But how did I beome an elf and Ele a hobbit?

Galadriel, reading my mind said"The reason you have changed races is because you became the race you always wanted to be in your heart. The coucil at Rivendale chose to send you with the fellowship because Elrond, using his gift of foresight, saw you as influential to them. But I must warn you now, do not tell anyone, of no race, of what is to come, for it would greatly change the future." She finished. I nodded, feeling as though I was about to cry. I knew Crystal was holding back tears too.

Galadriel, sensing our sorrow, motioned for us to go, and we were dismissed. Me and Ele walked off diffrent ways, and I left to go back to our talan. Only 1 and Aragorn were up there, Aragorn fingering the necklace around his neck thoughfully. Probably being around so many elves made him wish for Arwen. I strode to the other side of the tree, and began to cry softly away from everyone. I cried becuase I would never see the world I knew again, and that I was stuck in Middle Earth for the rest of my days, and being an elf that would be a very,very long time. I crawled into my bed and cried into my lacket, which I had been using as a pillow. After crying for fifteen minutes or so, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Lorwen, it is time to leave. The Lady has asked to leave now insted of tomarrow." I heard Aragorns voice say from above me. I tried to wipe off my tears as much as possible, but the area around my eyes was still a little bit red. Eleanor was there packing too, stuffing everything into my pack. A twinkie fell out, and for some reason, Ele burst into tears. I guess Twinkies reminded her too much of home. Watching her made me sad too, but I just began to climb down the steps.

After a long time, and too many wrong turns, I finally made it to the shore of the River, where three canoes were waiting for us. Many,many elves had lined the shore to see us off, and it was such a cool sight to see. Galadriel and Celebron were there too, to give us gifts in our departure. Celebron eyed me carefully, looking me up and down, and then he nodded to the Lady. Creepy, no? Galadirel whispered in my ear some elvish mutturing, and then, well, nothing happened really. Huh. She did the same thing to Ele, and Ele probably had the same look I did on my face.

Then the Lady Stood up straight and said "I have given you two a great gift, the gift of telepathy. Use it well, for you can only read the minds of those who have allowed, or if they have weak minds." She then handed Ele a hobbit-sized sword, designs etched on the hilt. I was given two knives/swords/dagger.things like legos, and a bow (also like the one legolas got), as well as a quiver full of newly fletched arrows. We both thanked her, and then walked towards our canoes.

I plopped my backpack into the canoe, and then turned to find Blondie right behind me.

"Hey." I said. It had been too long since I had read the books, or seen the movies, and I had forgotten the next time I would see him. I hoped it would be soon.

"Amin harmuva onalle e' cormamin (I shall treasure your gift in my heart)" He said, touching the necklace I gave him slightly.

"Aa' menealle nauva calen ar' malta est...Amin mela lle. (May your ways be green and golden and...I love you)" I whispered. He kissed me, and even though I enjoyed it alot...I realized it was in front of the enitre fellowship and probably EVERY elf in Lorien. So I guess it's public now, eh? I think Boromir and all the hobbits were holding back laughs, Ele's face was slightly red. Curses them.

"Uuma ma' ten' rashwe, ta tuluva a' lle (Don't look for trouble, it will come to you)" Haldir said and I laughed lightly as I climbed into my canoe, in front of Ele, Frodo, and Aragorn. We all waved with one hand, and paddled down the river with the other. Our stay in Lorien was finished, but our journey was only just started.


	8. So ends FOTR: Three cheers for TTT!

1

Author's Notes: Hi everyone...

Just me writing my pointless borderline mary-sue stories. My co-author, Crystal, will post her views now periodically, from Ele's view, as well as Frodo's and Sams. She says she'll try to keep the Romance down though. (Party pooper). Anyways, It'll be up soon enough. Keep reviewing everyone!

Disclaimer:

Don't have one, don't nee done. The one at the beginning should be good enough for you all.

"Out we go! Into the wild blue yonder" I sang, just a tad off-key

"Did we really have to bring _Her_" Gimli asked as we paddled down the river. He was in the boat next to us, with Lego.

"Yes, you did! I'm influential to you" I said, sticking my tounge out. Aragorn just sighed.

"I'm bored" Eleanor complained. I looked through my backpack and the tossed her my game boy.

"Enjoy." I said. She began to play it, Frodo staring over her shoulder interestingly. I began to play around with my new power. I tired to get through Lego's mind, but it was like trying to penetrate a ten-foot thick iron wall with a plastic knife. Aragorns was the same, but Gimli's wall was about three feet thick. Hmmm... Pippen was open! YAY! Oh, God, No! He was thinking about kissing Ele! YEE! I quickly cut off from him, not wanting to see anymore pip/ele things.

"What's Wrong" Merry asked me, obviously knowing my distress.

"Nothing..I just sensed...a disturbance..in the force" I said dreamily, and Crys laughed.

"Strider-poo" I complained "When are we going to make camp? I'm tired"

This close to rolling his eyes, Aragorn said "How about now"

"Yay" Ele and me shouted together and I began to do the victory dance, well, at least as well as I could do it in a canoe. We all strained with our paddles and came on a shore next to another forest.

"Everyone unload" Gimli commanded. I reluctantly began to unload my backpack, while Frodo ran off. Crystal followed him, muttering something about gnomes or other. Boromir went out to go get 'wood'. I sighed as I laid out camp, watching Lego whispering to Aragorn Something about the eastern shore. Where was Ele and Frodo? Aragorn went off to go find them, and I began to draw pictures in the dirt of Frodo and the ring, and ele and legolas.

"ORCS" I heard Aragorn shout from the hill. Lego looked at me, telling me to get out of here and hide. I shook my head, I was fighting this time. Legolas looked reluctant, but he let me. I pulled out me bow and an arrow and ran up the hill. I was met by many many orcs. Forget the bow! I grabbed my two knives and began to kick major orc butt.

"I'll be right back" Lego shouted. He ran off to find hobbits. Pip and Merry ran up behind me, brandishing mini swords.

"Get behind me" Boromir shouted, obviously defending the woman (well, at least half-woman) and hobbits. I began to shoot arrows at every possible breathing thing. Oh, God. I remembered. Boromir was going to die. I fought as well as I could, hitting maybe, sixteen orcs. The captain walked on the hill and began to shoot Boromier. There was nothing I could do, for it would change the entire plot. Pip and Merry began to run, and so did I, running my heart out. Yet, It was still not enough. An orc picked me up and threw me over it's shoulder, me screaming for Legolas to come and save me. I kicked and punched the Urk, but then he picked up a rock and knocked me on the head, and I passed out.

0o0o0o0o0oo0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oo0o00o00oo00o0o0o0

My eyes opened to a hideous face leering over me. I screamed, then rolled away, ending up knocking into another orc.

"Try to escape. You won't get far." An ugly orc said. No, wait, correction. They were all ugly. huh.

"I'm not trying to escape, just getting away from you hideous face" I retorted. He chuckled.

"Good Luck, Elf maiden" He said. I stuck my tounge out at him, and the orcs left, leaving one dude to watch over us. I inched over, my arms and legs bound, to Pip and Merry. Merry was still sleeping, but Pip was looking around with fear and interest.

"Doing okay" I asked.

"Holding On" He replied. I don't think that was a good thing.

"Do you think we're going to die" Pip asked.

"I'm not sure of anything that's about to happen, Pippen." I said solomny.

"I should've never left the Shire. I could be at home, sitting by the Brandy WIne and smoking Pipeweed." He said drearily.

"Pip, some people may seem just like their in the way, or a bother. But you two are not, you are as important to this mission as Lego, Aragorn, and Frodo." I said, trying to sound encouraging, even though he wasn't even close to Lego's hotness. But he was very cute, in a chibi sorta way.

I felt a sharp pain in my side as an Urk kicked me in the side with his metal boots. I think it broke at least a few ribs, and the pain was horrible.

"Get Up! We've got someone on our trail, lets get outta here" He said.

"Aragorn" Pip said happily as he was thrown on someone's back.

"You're awake now, so you can run with the rest of us, elf." Said the Urk. I sighed as I was tied up behind one of the Urks and we began to run. Many hours went by, and then the sun went down. It was night, but the Urks did not even pause. I began to grow weary, not in my muscles, but of my heart. I wondered if Lego and Bubbles and Gimli-kins would ever find us, before either I was killed or we got to Isengard (and that wouldn't take long, considering our pace) I had also lost my backpack in the fight (boo-hoo!) and that was my only hope of realese of me from this bordem, but even if I had it, I wouldn't have been able to reach into it anyway, being my hands were bound very very tightly.

Day came, and we were now in the fields of Rohan. Tall, waving grasses as far as the eye could see, and for me that was pretty far. Pippen, the smart one, dropped his leaf of Lorien on the ground, for the others to find. I wanted to join in, so the top button of my tunic ended up on the ground. It was a shame to see it go though, it was a really pretty button. Wait, who cares about a button! Great, now I was arguing in my own mind. We still didn't stop, until we reached the edge of Fangorn Forest.

"We must rest" One of the orcs complained!

"Fine, but only for tonight" The Urk said.

"I'm sick of this maggoty bread! Can't we have meat" Another Urk complained.

"What about them? They're fresh..." An orc said. About know I was getting scared. I DID NOT want to become Lunch meat under any circumstances.

"We cannot touch them! They are to go to Sauruman, alive and unspoiled" The Urk Commander said.

"What for? Are they for sport" The orc asked.

"The halflings carry some elvish weapon and the elf is for important informtion." The Urk said. Ah-hah, so I guess I shouldn't be killed, I hope, at least.

"Aw, come on, what about their legs? They don't need those. " He said, and then he inched towards us, sword drawn. Crap. Me and the hobbits were frozen in spot. Then the Urk lost his temper, cutting the head off the orc.

"Looks like meat's back on the menu, boys" The Urk shouted. They all cried out in joy, and began to eat the remains of the orc. It was sick, but I whispered to Merry and Pippen one word "Run." We cut our bindings on a sword that was lying on the ground, and the hobbits ran for the forest. I brought up the rear, just in case. I felt someone grab my shoulders, and I was pulled around, a dagger to my thorat. The dagger was held by one of the orcs.

"I hope elves taste better then orcs.." He said, and I closed my eyes. He then made a gurgling noise, and fell over, his dagger falling to the ground, an arrow sticking out of his back. The Riders of Rohan! Pip and Merry had already made it to the forest, but I took advantage of the confusion to find my weapons. They were hanging on one urk's back. I removed them, and put them on, except for my swords, which I drew. I ran, fast as I could go with my ribs hurting like hell. I was almost to the forest when the riders, done with the orcs, had noticed me.

"Stop" They shouted, and me, momentarily distracted, tripped and fell flat on my face. Why me? Why did I have to be cursed with clumsiness, even in Middle Earth? When I got up, I was surrounded by a circle of riders on horses. Shoot.

"Put down your weapons, you are in no danger, my lady." A dude said. After looking at his face, I realized it was Eomer, or as I will call him, Tufty, because there is a fluffy tuft of something on his helmet. I lowered my swords, then sheathed them. They all lowered their spears from my face.

"Where are you from? The Gap? Edoras? The West Fold maybe" Eomer said. "If it is on our way, we can return you home." He continued. He thought me to be human! Foolish mortal human dude. I flicked my hair (in only the way elves can), just enough to show my ears.

"I come from a land that even my own kindred do not know of." I said mystically. Eomer's eyebrows went waaaaaay up.

"An elf? What business do you have in Rohan, we rarely see your kind here anymore." He said.

"I was taken from my fellowship, and they are searching for me. If you haven't seen them, then I at least want to be taken to Edoras to meet them." I said, trying to be polite, even though I was mad. We needed to get a move on here!

"Fine, we will take you as close to Edoras as we dare, but then you must continue on your own." He said. Yayness! He extended an arm to help get on the horse behind him, but I just shook my head. No way I was riding with some smelly human!

"Can I have my own horse" I asked. Eomer sighed. Guess he was depressed he didn't get to ride with pretty elf chick, eh? lol. Someone led forward a chocolate brown horse with green eyes. Awww...

"I name you...er...Ambar" I said joyfully.

"Which means..." One of the horsemen asked.

"Do not question me" I shouted at him. He cowered. "It means fate.." I said softly, petting my horse.

"What is your name, elf" Eomer asked.

I sighed, replying"Lorwen, Daughter of Sue." I mounted Ambar, and began to ride behind the group. I was bored. I began to sing...

"Jingle Bells,

Jingle bells..

etc. etc.."

By the third hour, Eomer was getting pissed. I had gone through every Xmas carol I knew, and was now going on to sing Simple Plan and Linkin Park.

"Will you cease" He yelled at me. I stopped, and looked around.. Same old thing. Tall. Grass. Oh, wait, now there were rolling hills. With boulders. Hm...

We went over the hill, and then as we came to the next one, I heard a clear voice ring out...

"Riders of Rohan! What News from the North" It was Bubbles! Yay, I'm saved from dirty horse men! We made a sharp turn, during which I fell off my horse. I never really was a barrel racer. By the time I had mounted and rode back up the hill, Lego already had his bow out.

"We're looking for two hobbits, they would only be children to your eyes..." Aragorn was saying, pushing down Lego's bow.

"We found no children, and found but one prisoner..." Eomer said. Que me! I pushed through, already off my horse. I ran up, and hugged Bubbles and Lego, then patted Gimli on the head.

"Lorwen? We thought you dead, not with Pippen and Merry...Boromir didn't mention you." Aragorn said.

"But she is here, and that is well." Legolas said, smiling. Awwwwww...they had missed me!

"Let us leave! We will search for the hobbits on our own...er...By the way...Thank you for the horsey." I said.

"It was no trouble"Eomer said, and he brought up two horses. "These are for you companions, and me and my company bid you well." He signed to the riders, and they galloped off.

"So...What's up, you guys" I said. They looked at me weirdly. "Where I come from that's a greeting." I said. Ah, I can see understanding on their faces now.

"We must keep on going, the hobbits are still out there.." Aragorn said.

"We don't even know if they're alive still" Gimli stated.

"Yeah...well...let's get a move on..." I said.

"Wait, Here" Lego said, handing me my backpack. There was a note attached, written in pig Latin, so no one else could read...(translated below)

Earday Orwenlay,

onegay ffoay ithway rodofay otay ordormay. ooktay inimay ackpackbay foay oomday! ollay! eepkay miay ouchtay! Nday elltay emay boutay ouyay nday aldirhay!

Leanoreay Aribnksfay.

(it says

Dear Lorwen,

Gone off with Frodo to Mordor. Took mini-backpack of doom. lol. Keep in touch. And tell me about you and Haldir!

Eleanor Fairbanks)

We mounted, and quickly rode off. Obviously, Eomer had left some people behind to gather the dead and burn them. Gimli started sifting through the piles, and then held a small something up for us to see.

"It's one of their wee Lil belts" He said. Lego put his hand to his heart, and began to say some mourning phrases in elvish. Aragorn yelled in anger at the sky. I almost cried. How could they have died? But I remember Pip saving Faramier in Minas Tirith...wait, they weren't dead! It was all plot suspense! But I couldn't tell anyone, so I still acted sad. Aragorn fell to his knees, and then he began fingering the ground.

"A hobbit lay here" He began, and he went on to tell the entire tale, having us running from place to place in the meantime. Not long, and we were looking into the mossy depths of Fangorn. I strained my ears, and sure enough I could hear the voices of the forest. It was really angry, angry about the destruction of the forests and of Orcs carrying axes. Well, lemme tell you, in about three thousand years this will probably be some resort town in Europe with sparkling ice water imported from Italy and Health Spas.

I looked up and saw that the trio had already walked far ahead of me, and I ran ahead, yelling "Wait up meanies! You weren't just gonna leave me here, were you" I whined.

"Yes." Gimli huffed. I pinched his cheek, and he pushed my hand away.

"You seemed in a trance." Aragorn said. Well, duh.

"It's the forest. It's ancient and very, very pissed off at the orcs. I don't know why yet though. " I said. I shuddered as I felt the forest again, it was really creepy. Legolas then got all far out, probably sensing something in that pretty 'lil blonde head of his.

"The White Wizard approaches" Lego said. Oh, crud. Not Sauruman, not now. We were gonna die! Die a terrible death! Die I tell you! Aragorn told us not to let him speak, so me and Lego drew our bows smoothly (well, at least Lego did. Mine kinda came out clumsily, poking both Aragorn and Lego). Gimli raised his axe, and Aragorn drew his sword.

Suddenly, out of the blue, a big, bright, shiny white light shone on us. I couldn't see well, so my aim was off. Didn't matter though. My arrows disinigrated immeaditly, as did Legolas's. Aragorn's sword got so hot he couldn't hold it anymore. I wasn't really paying attention to Gimli-kins situation, so he's not included in my description. Aragorn yelled something or other, then the lights dimmed.

And there was our old friend, Dandy Gandy, standing there, clad in white. To my left, Legolas bowed gracefully, saying sorry. Without thinking I just ran up and hugged him, shouting "Gandalf!"

"Ah, yes, that was my name" Gandalf said.

"Duh!" I shouted. He laughed.

"It is good to find you all here, and no, I cannot tell you all that has happened, but I will tell you what I can, before we must leave..." He went into this long story, and it took about a half-hour, and I was actually listening intently this time! I wasn't even bored! I had missed Gandy, and it was cool to actually see him again.

Sadly, Gandalf's story ended, and it was back to riding pointlessly around Rohan. Oh, but Shadowfax was the most awesome horsey ever! I mean, he was perfectly white for one thing, and He was perfect size. He galloped clean and clear.

I clapped slowly as Gandy petted his beloved steed, and said "Well done, my equine friend, but Ambar is jealous. Can you dim the white a bit?" Shadowfax gave me this look of utter annoyance. He understood me! Hm...wait till Ele hears about this. I had actually decided not to contact Ele until Edoras, or maybe a little later. I'm sure she was as busy as I was, and I wanted to wait just a while.

We jumped on our horses, and rode for what was about a full day. Now, when we did get to Edoras, I thought that it looked like Minas Tirith, with the levels, each higher then the last, except more browns and yellows instead of whites. Gandalf led us to the gates, and they opened immeaditly. Aragorn looked down, and I followed his gaze. On the ground lay a flag, a horse of Rohan depicted on it. Was this one of those foreboding signs? Yes, I believe so.

"Please take off all of you weapons" The guard Hama said, as we dismounted and walked up the steps to the throne room. I removed my bow, quiver, knives, and my Swiss army knife from my pocket. I also reluctantly left behind my backpack, and told them an old elvish spell was upon it. If anyone opened the pack who didn't have my permission, they would surely explode into a million pieces. Hama's mouth was open, and I just giggled as I walked into the building, on the outside, by Lego.

Gandalf exchanged greetings with Theoden, but the dude just told him that he wasn't welcome in Rohan. I gawked. You DO NOT tell Gandalf that he's not welcome, it doesn't work that way. I had a feeling King Theo here was gonna have his butt kicked. Gandalf took of his cloak, and began to pull Sauruman's ghost/sprit thingie out of old man Theo. It would've been awesome to watch, but we were too busy playing bodyguard for Gandy. Rohan man: oops, now knocked out Rohan man. Heh heh.

Eowyn ran into the room, and I had to hold her back, as she watched her uncle become a regular guy again. Lego motioned for me to let her go, and she ran to embrace her dear old uncle. Gandalf then began to tell Theo of all that was happening, and all the foreboding stuff that was probably about to happen. Then Hama brought forth the King's sword, and Theo grasped it firmly.

Grima Wormtounge strutted around, and Hama grabbed him by the shirt collar, taking him outside. Theo raised his sword to cut off Grima's head, and I buried my face into Legolas's shoulder. Then I heard Aragorn's voice, telling Theo that enough blood had been spilled on Grima's account and to let him go free, never to come to Rohan again. Grima then jumped up, and scampered to the gates, running into the distance. I let go of Legolas, and found Ambar. We were to leave immeaditly, along with all of Rohan, and make our way to Helms Deep. This was the refuge of Rohan, when their country was under attack. I rode between Aragorn and Legolas, and I smiled, ready to ride around Rohan again, except this time It kind of did have a point.


	9. Bring back the Damned boat, Frodo!

* * *

The Breaking of the Fellowship

A/N: Screw the author's note! I hate author's notes, they bother the hell out of  
me! On with the story!

Disclaimer: I hate disclaimers as well! I don't own anything, leave me alone!

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* * *

Before we left camp, I had taken my mini backpack of DOOM with me (acquired in  
Lothlórien. Lorwen gave it to me as a gift, so I would be able to have some fun  
of my own.), along with the rest of my gear. I was sad that I might not see  
Lorwen, or the rest of the fellowship again.

Frodo was walking aimlessly through the forest. We had left camp almost an hour  
ago, but he still had no idea that I was following him. Tee hee. Hobbit  
stealthness ROCKS!

After walking a bit more, we came upon Borimir, who was, 'collecting firewood.'  
…firewood my ass. I ran behind a bush to keep out of sight.

He began to talk to Frodo. "None of us should wander alone, you least of all. So  
much depends on you. Frodo? I know why you seek solitude. You suffer; I see it  
day by day. You sure you do not suffer needlessly? There are other ways, Frodo,  
other paths that we might take."

"I know what you would say," replied Frodster. "…and it would seem like wisdom  
but for the warning in my heart."

"Warning? Against what? We're all afraid, Frodo. But to let that fear drive us  
to destroy what hope we have. Don't you see that is madness?"

"There is no other way!" Frodo began to back up. I crept over to another bush,  
still trying to remain unseen.

"Warning? Against what? We're all afraid, Frodo. But to let that fear drive us  
to destroy what hope we have. Don't you see that is madness?" Shouted Borimir. I  
whimpered. I hated him going psycho, but it was worth it for Frodo to kick him  
in the chest.

"There is no other way!" Frodo cried.

"I ask only for the strength to defend my people!" Borimir tossed the wood he was holding onto the ground. "If you would but lend me the Ring…"

"No."

"Why do you recoil? I am no thief."

"You are not yourself…" Frodo backed up even more. I was about to run out of the  
bushes.

"Fool!" Borimir began to chase Frodo. "It is not yours save by unhappy chance.  
It could have been mine! It should be mine! Give it to me!"

"No!" Frodo tripped (Being Frodo, after all), and Borimir went to tackle him.

"Give me the ring!"

Frodo struggled to get out of Borimir's grasp, and he put on the Ring. At this  
point, I saw Borimir fall back. I saw Frodo's footprints in the leaves of the  
forest floor. This was my only chance to catch him, so I took off. Borimir was  
about to get up, so I took a bat from my backpack and hit him over the back a  
few times for good measure. After that, I ran off to catch up with Frodo.  
Borimir lay silent on the ground, twitching.

I tried the best that I could to track Frodo, but it was no use. I knew that  
even in broad daylight I wouldn't be able to see anything of him aside from a  
vague shadow, so I stopped and looked around. A few yards ahead was a tall,  
stone building. It was the seat of seeing atop Amon Hen. I realized that any  
second now Aragorn would show up, so I decided to take off in Lorwen's  
direction, hoping to say good bye to her. Hopefully I'd be able to get to the  
river before Frodo, as well.

I heard Aragorn's and Frodo's voice in the distance as I ran. I turned my head  
around, and collided into Sam.

"Sam!" I shouted. "What are you doing here!"

"Beggin' your pardon, Miss, but I was just looking for Mr. Frodo."

I was about to tell him off, when I heard heavy footfalls. Great. Orcs, last  
thing I needed!

Grabbing Sam, I tore off towards the sound of Lorwen screaming something about  
Legolas.

There was no one there, but Lorwen's backpack was lying on the ground. I took a sheet of paper from my backpack of doom and wrote her a note. It said the  
following,

"Earday Orwenlay,  
onegay ffoay ithway rodofay otay ordormay. ooktay inimay ackpackbay foay oomday!  
eepkay miay ouchtay, Nday elltay emay boutay ouyay nday aldirhay!  
Leanoreay Aribnksfay."

I wrote it in Pig Latin so nobody else would be able to decipher it. (For all of  
you out there who aren't able to read Pig Latin…) It meant:

"Dear Lorwen,  
Gone off with Frodo to Mordor. Took Mini backpack of doom. Keep in touch, and  
tell me about you and Haldir!  
Elanor Fairbanks"

I put the note on the outside of the backpack, hoping for someone to find it. I  
ran off again, completely forgetting about Sam.

I kept running, seeing chaos and death all around me. I finally reached the  
shore. Frodo was standing with the Ring in his palm, weeping silently. He closed  
his hand, put the ring back around his neck, and started to go towards one of  
the boats.

"Frodo!" I yelled. Sam had just come out from the woods, shouting.

"Frodo!" I called again. He got into the boat. I came up to him, tossed my  
backpack inside the boat, and put my hand on his shoulder.

"The Ring is my burden, and I must bear it alone." he said.

"No, you don't. You shouldn't! And I'm coming with you, whether you like it or  
not." I didn't want to have come all this way with him, just to be left standing  
here, with everyone else gone. Sam started coming closer. Frodo got into the  
boat.

"No." He said to himself. He started paddling away. Sam was just out of the  
forest. I can't swim myself, and if didn't go with him now, well, there's no  
way he'd be able to save the both of us. I called out to him again.

"Frodo!" At this point I was crying. He stopped rowing, and turned around to  
look at me. "Don't go!"

"And why not?" he shouted back.  
"I won't be able to live with myself if I let you go. And… I love you. I love  
you, Frodo! Now bring back the damned boat!"

Sam had now reached the shore. Frodo paddled back, and came out of the boat. I  
ran up to him.

He looked straight at me. His expression softened, and he whispered, "I love you  
too." He leaned over and kissed me.

We stood there for several minutes, holding each other. I was blushing  
furiously. I took his hand, and went into the boat.

Sam was yelling at the both of us. I laughed, handed him an oar, and we all went  
off.

After a few hours of rowing, we came to the Emyn Muil. We stood before a barren  
wasteland, with Mordor and the Dead Marshes ahead of us.

"Mordor." said Frodo. "I hope the others find a safer route."

"Strider will look after them." Said Sam.

"I don't suppose we'll ever see them again."

"We may yet, Mr. Frodo. We may."

Frodo turned to the both of us, smiling. "Sam, Elanor, I'm glad you're with  
me."

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	10. Off to Helm's Deep and Certain d00m!

* * *

Authors Notes: Today was a dark and rainy day (shock, I know) so it was the perfect day to write this dark and angsty chapter. I'm sorry, but the humor has been put of until next chapter... 

Keep reviewing, me loyal croutons! ( a.k.a my loyal fans..) By the way, some things here will be depicted differently then the movies or books show it.

Danielle

Disclaimer:

I don't own LOTR, or Legolas, Or Bubbles, Or Aragorn. Or Gandy. Or Theo. Or anyone else. Thank you, and have a good night! bows

* * *

Danielle

"Amin n'rangwa edanea (I do not understand these humans)" I said to Legolas. He laughed and nodded, and Aragorn practically rolled his eyes. It was true. They were fleeing, when they should stand up and fight. I tried to explain this to Bubbles, but he called me "young" and "arrogant." Stupid, foolish mortal, He'd never understand. Hmph.

Legolas jumped off his horse and handed the reigns to one of the woman. He ran ahead, almost like a scout would. Must've been tired of his horse. I decided to jump off too, and I followed him. He jumped off the cliff, and began to battle with a...what was it? It looked like a hyena crossed with a bear.

He finally killed the orc riding it, and shouted "A scout!"a look on his face I hadn't seen before. He looked really really angry.

I climbed down warily, and joined him. He was now standing on a ridge, and at the same time, we both spotted about fifteen or sixteen of those things, all with orcs mounted on them. Crap, this was going to suck. I began to fire my arrows, and I got only two shots, when everyone thundered up on their horses behind me. Oh, shit! Wait, my horse was still with the woman! I looked around, but Ambar wasn't anywhere near here. Legolas jumped onto his horse with Gimli, and now, I was stuck with no steed.

I didn't have time to get someone else to pick me up, the evil hyena things were right there. I just pulled out my knives and began to shred one of them. It was really hard, and grew tiresome.

I turned back, and there was a hyaena thing right behind me. I screamed, and Legolas ran over, but by the time he got there, I had already killed the thing. Heh heh, slow elf. The battle over, obviously. Me and Lego searched for Aragorn. We couldn't find him, and I began to worry. Could he have been killed? But, no, we would've found him in the bodies...

"Where's Aragorn!" Gimli shouted to us. I shrugged, and then stepped over a half dead orc. It grabbed my foot, making me trip.

"What the hell!" I shouted at it, and it smiled.

"Sauruman would be happy to know the heir to Gondor's throne has now been defeated..." It said slowly, obviously close to death. Legolas looked from me to it, and then suddenly leaped down, grabbing it by the neck.

"Where's Aragorn!" He shouted at it. Woah, didn't see that coming. When elves get mad, they get MAD!

The orc pointed to the cliff and said "He Fell down that canyon"

"You do not speak the truth" Legolas said through gritted teeth, shaking the orc again. Obviously the shock of an elf acting like that, or maybe just being shaken like that, made the orc breath his last breath, and then die. His hand fell open, and reveled the Evenstar in his hand. I gasped, and then began to cry. Back in modern Earth, my parents had been divorced, and I didn't see my dad very often. But Bubbles had been a father-like guy to me, even if he didn't take a bath every other day.

Legolas held me in his arms, and I cried for about five minutes, then realized everyone was staring. Stupid Stereotype saying: Elves don't cry. I wiped my face and then said to Legolas "I no longer have my horse with me, the woman took it with them."

"You can ride behind me" He said, and I jumped on behind him. Then Theo shouted out the commands to move, and we galloped to catch up with everyone else.

We finally made it to Helm's Deep. It was a huge wall, basically, with a fortress behind it. Most of the woman and children were immeaditly taken to the caves, with all the men who were fighting milling about. We walked into a vast stone room, obviously what little of a throne room you could find at Helm's Deep. Me and Legolas received orders to hang around in the entrance hall until we were called to the Armory. When we got out there, me and Legolas stood around. Feeling silly, I asked him to tell me of embarrassing things Haldir did when he was young.

Before he could answer, the double entrance doors opened with a bang. I quickly glanced over to see who would make such a big deal about their arrival, and then I saw Bubbles walking towards me and Leggers. I almost jumped on his back screaming "Bubbles is here! Yes everyone, the all-famed King Dubble Bubble has arrived!", but then I saw the extent of his injuries.

"You look terrible" Legolas said.

Aragorn nodded, and I hugged him. He looked surprised, so I decided to kiss him on the cheek too. Lego gawked at us.

"Yee! Legolas, I can see those naughty thoughts of yours! He's just like a father to me, ok?" I said, pretending I could see his thoughts. Legolas shut his mouth and then handed out the Evenstar to Bubbles. Aragorn looked at it wistfully, no doubt thinking about his "love". Then we all decided to take a field trip to the armory. Alright, so we we're summoned there to prepare for the upcoming battle. I picked up some elvish armor I had found, and began to put it on.

Legolas and Aragorn began to argue, and everyone watched interestedly. I slipped on my last piece of armor (being men's armor it was a little tight around the chest) and followed Lego as he stormed out.

"Ready to go kick orc butt?" I asked him.

"You aren't fighting Lorwen. You're staying in the keep" Legolas said. Oh, Valar, not the cliche sexist thing.

"Come on! You know me! I fight as well as any man here, if not better.." I argued.

"No, stay in the keep. If they penetrate the wall, You will fall back to the caves with everyone else, and lead them down the passage deeper into the mountain." He ordered. I just blew him off and stomped down the hall. He left too, muttering about making up with Aragorn.

I walked to the keep, still mad. I was going to fight, I just had to figure out a way to do it. I looked over the wall, and saw a grey mass walking up the way into Helms Deep...Wait, My elvish eyes spotted..Haldir! What the hell was he doing here..? I ran to the entrance, and greeted him hastily.

"Mae govannen. A'maelamin (well met, my beloved)" I told him, happy to see him again. He didn't say anything, just picked me up in his arms and kissed me slowly, now in front of everyone in Rohan, but this time I didn't give a care.

"Oio naa elealla alasse', but Nae saian luume' (Ever is thy sight a joy, but it has been too long)" He said looking into my eyes.(a/n I know, Mary-sueish! Forgive me, I couldn't help it!)

"Legolas and Aragorn won't Let me fight!" I complained. He laughed, and I felt Aragorn pull me away from Haldir, then he embraced Haldir like an old friend. Where had he come from? Had he seen us kissing? Annoying old fool.

"Amin dele ten' he(I worry about her) She is young, and might make mistakes." Aragorn said.

Haldir looked at me and said "Amin sinta thaliolle e dagor, Lle nuquernuva sen . (I know you're strength in battle, you will defeat them.)"

"But..." Legolas said.

"I know you care for her much, but so do I. You cannot keep her from fighting, it is what she has to do. Even if you do tell her not to fight, I have no doubt she'll somehow find a way to fight still" Haldir said, avidly defending me.

"Alright...but if she doesn't make it, I will never let you hear the end of it.." Aragorn said. Haldir nodded silently, then motioned for me to join his troops. I jumped in front of this one totally serious looking dude. Wait, all of the elves looked serious. Of course, this was a serious battle. All odds were against us.

"Too the wall!" Haldir shouted, him on my right, and Legolas on my left. We marched (well, at least everyone else marched, I walked fancy) to the wall, and up the stairs. When we reached the top we spread out on the wall, Haldir by my side.

"Amin naa lle nai (I am yours to command)" I said to him.

"Cuamin linduva yassen megrille (My bow shall sing with your sword)" He replied. I felt worried, this was going to be a battle where the chance of surviving were slim four hundred against ten thousand was more then just unevenly matched. It was outnumbered.

Haldir must've seen the worry on my face, because he said "Uuma dela, Lle naa belegohtar. (Do not worry, you are a mighty warrior.)"

"It's just, well, never mind that." I looked up at him as the mass of orcs drew ever closer. I continued "En! (Look!) The battle is about to begin. I just wanted to say Amin mela lle (I love you), alright?" I said.

He nodded and replied "Quel marth, A'Lirimaer, Aratoamin, Arwenamin. (Good Luck, My lovely, my champion, my lady)" I kissed him, then Aragorn yelled out for us to draw our bows. I pulled mine out, aiming for a big orc in front. It was loud and noisy on the battlefield, the Orcs were beating their spears on the ground and yelling, but the fortress was silent.

An arrow flew by, and I looked up. An old human had accidently mistaken Aragorns "Aim" for "Fire". A truly foolish mortal. One of the orcs were hit, and it fell on its face. For a few seconds, the battlefield was completely silent, then the Commander cried a battle cry, and they began to charge forward.

"Hold!" Aragorn commanded. It was hard to hold with ten thousand orcs running and yelling, coming towards you, but I did.

"Fire!" Aragorn shouted, and I let go. It hit an orc square in the neck, and I grabbed another arrow, continuing to aim, fire, aim fire, aim, fire. I checked on Haldir. He was concentrating, and I didn't want to ruin it, so it was back to shooting.

Just when I was getting bored (and my count was twenty two), the orcs had made it to the wall, and were now raising ladders to siege the wall. Crud, hand to hand combat, I feared this. I pulled out my swords, and then an orc came up to me.

I killed it, shouting "Gurth gothrim Tel'Quessir! (Death to the foes of the elves)" Then began the long battle of Helm's Deep. It began to rain and thunder, flashing lightning on our battle. I turned to see how many orcs were still out there in the fields. Too many. Wait, there was a single orc, running with a sparkling torch..

"Shoot it Legolas!" Aragorn yelled. Lego took aim, and I had to get another orc that was behind me. Before I knew what was happening, the wall next to us exploded (wait! This can't happen in LOTR! It must only happen in movies like James Bond, right!) I was thrown in the air and landed flat on my stomach. It hurt, but I had to get up to avoid getting a sword stuck in my back by another orc. I thrust my sword into his stomach.

All of the fighting now had moved to the floor of the canyon, where the orcs were now running through the wall. I skipped down the stairs, taking three at a time. I fought my way to where Haldir, Lego, and Aragorn were fighting back to back, fending off orcs very well, considering.

"Vedui' il'er (Greetings everyone)!" I shouted to them, raising my sword. Lego and Aragorn nodded their heads in acknowledgment. I joined by Haldir. We stood like this for, like, five minutes. Then we were all separated again by the huge mass of orcs. Shoot. I began to work on this orc that had decided to try to get past me. I wished him luck.

"Tira ten' rashwe! (Look out)" Legolas shouted. What? I tuned around and Haldir had pushed between me and an Urk-Hai. He killed it, but when it fell, it spun around, it's sword slashing through Haldir's chest...

"Pull Back! Pull back to the keep!" Aragorn shouted. "All is lost!". Couldn't he see Haldir was hurt? I jogged over and bent down over him.

"How bad is it?" I asked him.

"Bad enough." He said. Oh, crud, he was going to die! I picked him up.

"Vanimle sila tiri (You're beauty shines bright)" He said. What the hell was he saying that for!

"Haldir, don't go! We still need to get married and have three kids and.—" He interrupted me.

"I'll see you again, you'll see." He said, and he closed his eyes. I began to cry, right there in the middle of the battlefield. Legolas ran over to me, and grabbed my shoulders, pulling me away and into the keep. Behind us they barred the doors. Aragorn looked to me, and I shook my head sadly, tears pouring down my face. I ran to him, and cried into his shoulder for a few minutes, then let go.

Haldir wasn't coming back. I was never going to see him again. Crying wasn't going to change that. Then I felt a sorrow, deeper then deep within me. I wasn't crying anymore, but on the inside I was. It was the infamous elvish sorrow, I realized.

"We will ride then, the last ride for Theoden, King of Rohan, and Aragorn, heir to Gondor." I had missed the entire conversation, but I didn't care. A tall man brought Ambar to me (the ladies had returned him), and I jumped on without even a saddle.At least maybe I'll meet him wherever elves go when they die, if I die now.

As we left the entrance, orcs began to swarm us. I just swiped them with my blades. Then, to the east. I saw a bright white light. Hey, wait a sec, I know that light...GANDY! When had he left us? I wasn't paying attention. Behind him, Eomer and all the riders of Rohan charged into the orcs. Fifteen minutes later, the Orcs were being driven into the forest, followed by shouts of joy and relief from the men. There was no joy or relief for me, all I felt was angsty.

We rode back to the fortress, and I, for once in my lifetime, was completely silent. Aragorn kept shooting me concerned looks, but I just looked straight ahead. I wandered around the battlefield when we got back, looking at all of the elves and humans who had fallen, and a few I even recognized. I was thinking of how the hell I was going to tell Crystal about this when I heard a voice in my head...

"_Danielle?"_ Meep! Voices in my head! _"It's Eleanor" _Oh, ok. It's just Crystal. Not demons or anything.

"_Where are you?" _I replied.

"_We're coming to the witch-king's tower." _she said. Ah-hah.

"_Well, the battle of Helm's Deep went pretty okay..." _I said, trailing off.

"_I can feel your sadness...what happened! Did Lego or Bubbles die!_"She practically shouted in my head.

"_No...Haldir fell during the battle.." _I said, feeling like I was going to cry. I tried my new telepathy skill, and I found out I could send her an image of how Haldir died. Funnily enough, I could feel her sadness for me...

"_Oh, God...How in the world are you handling it? I myself by then would have committed suicide by drowning myself in a vat of blueberry muffin dough..." _Crystal said. _"I have to go, we have reached the tower. Time for Frodo to act possesed! Please do not worry too much, I don't want you to become a sad elf. Sad elves are not cool elves, ok?" _She said. She then, I guess you could say 'hung up'. I sighed, glad we had talked, even if it was just for a few minutes.


	11. Elves really do cry

Author's Notes;

Yes! You guessed it! Me and Crystal have discussed material for a sequel! YAY! But only if you guys want it _cough cough review cough hack _By the way, Crystal's working a little slow ahem on her chapters, so I've posted a little ahead, into ROTK. Read on!

* * *

Danielle

I patted Ambar's neck as I packed him up to depart from Helm's Deep. There wasn't much for me to pack though, considering almost everything I needed was in my backpack. I sighed as I saddled and mounted Ambar, and he whinnied as I dug my knees into his side, then we galloped to Aragorn.

"Where we going?" I asked.

"To Edoras, but we're going to make a stop in Isengard first. I am glad to see you happy, Lorwen." He replied. Happy? Was just not crying his idea of happy? I hadn't smiled all day. I sighed. Since we weren't leaving immeaditly, I began to take the long path from the keep to the wall. I wanted to walk along the wall for some time, and just be alone for awhile. The wind whipped my hair all over my face. I wished now more then ever to have a good hair thing to pull it back with (Que sighs).

Leggo was up there too, he looked like he was deep in thought. Perfect time to interrupt and be annoying again. I hadn't been truly annoying to the trio since Ele left. I reached out to tickle him in the sides and then next thing I knew, I had been grabbed, turned around, and pinned to the wall, with a dagger at my neck.

"Valar, Lorwen! Don't do that." He said. I nervously pushed his arm off. "I hadn't been thinking clearly, I could've hurt you, so don't ever sneak up on me like that again." He lectured. I swear I was so close to taking my hand and making a little mimicking Lego puppet out of it, but I stopped my self short.

"Sorry, Sorry, I was just trying to do this!" I said, and began to tickle him unmercifully. He laughed, and then I knew if you tickled them just right, elves could laugh hysterically. This was a historic moment, Legolas Greenleaf laughing his head off. I whipped my backpack off my shoulders, and plucked out my Polaroid camera (of DOOM!), snapping a shot of Lego bent over, his face red with him laughing so hard. He blinked confusedly after the flash.

"What was that!" He exclaimed. The photo slipped out of my camera.

"It's a magical item Legolas dearie. I aim it at you, and it takes a portrait, except it looks totally lifelike." I explained, flicking the picture so it dried quicker. After a few inquisitive looks from Lego, I gave him the picture, but only after quickly autographing it with a blue gel pen.

"It's amazing.." Legolas said.

"Yeppers." I replied.

"How does it work?" He asked.

"Erm..." I didn't really know, so I began to make up this story about a race of short people ,much like hobbits except for their hair was blue and their skin orange. They were called the Faboozeles, and I came up with this wild story about how they invented the camera. Legolas laughed.

"Did you come up with that yourself?" He asked.

"Yes.." I said blushing. The annoyingly smart (or should I say educated crys? raises eyebrows inside joke!) Elf had known I was making it up. Curses. He laughed again. I Curse him, along with all of Middle Earth. Hah!

I heard someone walking up to us, and I turned around to find Eowyn coming my way

"Feuyaer" I muttered under my breath. It meant disgusting human. Legolas made a face, almost like he was going to laugh, but he held it back.

"I am so sorry about Haldir, My lady" She said. I felt all my happiness drain away. Why did she have to mention Haldir now, when I had actually been happy? Legolas raised his eyebrows to see how I would react. I opened my mouth to argue with her when-

"Legolas, Ladies, We must depart!" Aragorn said, saving me. I will forever love Mr. Bubbles after this, eh?

"I'll catch up to you guys!" I shouted back, and the rode across the battlefield. Everyone began to pour out the entrance, while I rode the opposite way. On the battlefield, bodies were scattered here and there, never to be put to rest in a rightful place.

Well, that wasn't going to happen to Haldir. I found his body, and slowly picked it up. (A/n Elves bodies decompose lots slower then human bodies, so it wasn't that gross to touch him, Thank God) It was heavy, but I finally got it on Ambar. Then I jumped up behind it, and rode back through the hole in the wall to catch up with the trio, Eomer, and King Theo.

"Hey, I'm back. So, how far's it to Isengard?" I asked casually. Aragorn looked down at Haldir's body, and raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, that." I said. "Er...I'm just taking him to Fangorn. It doesn't seem right to leave him out in the battlefield, he deserves to be buried in the forest, where his heart really is. I wish we could've buried him in Lorien instead though..." I said. Legolas (a true elf) nodded in approval, and Aragorn said something about how he wished all of the elves could be buried with their honor for their bravery on the field, if not everyone who fell.

"It is but a day or two's ride to Isengard." Replied Eomer.

"Good. I can't wait to see if Sauruman's fate end's up like in the movie or the books..." I said. Everyone looked at me and I shrugged my shoulders. "Nothing.." I continued.

We made camp that night, just on the hills of Rohan. I laid out my blankets by the fellowship's, but far enough I would get to be alone, well, at least until Eowyn walked over to annoy me again.

"Good Evening my lady." She said.

"What, come to talk about you burning love for Aragorny-poo? Or did you remember he's a married man?" I told her angrily. I never liked her in the books or movies either.

"I'm sorry to bother you. Please forgive me." She said, her eyes got all teary.

"No, I'm sorry for getting all mad at you. You can come over and visit with me anytime." I said, knowing I was being kind, but I was going to regret it later. Eowyn was like my little sister Sierra, I realized. Annoying, yet just a girl who needs help. Also my little sister practically loved Aragorn, but could never have him either. This was a weird, weird coincidence. Wait until Eleanor hears this! Heh heh.

Eowyn walked off, and I reached into my backpack to find my Gap athletic pants to wear to bed tonight, but instead my hand found my new stereo that I had just gotten for Christmas! I shouted out with joy, pulling it out to see what CD I had left in it, and what I had in my backpack. Hm, Simple Plan, Linkin Park, Yellowcard, and somehow my little sister's CD of party jams (you know, the ones with YMCA and stuff?)

I closed my eyes and did a guess pick, throwing them all into my backpack and drawing one out. Of course, Simple Plan came out. Luckily, I had batteries in my backpack to throw in the stereo, and soon Simple Plan was blaring from the speakers. Legolas walked over, a look of utter disgust on his face.

"What is that noise!" He shouted over 'Welcome to My Life'. I laughed and turned it down.

"It's music, my man!" I said back. I turned it back up and began to dance wildly to it. Everyone in camp now was staring at me.

"That's no music..." Legolas grumbled.

"'Tis in my realm. You're too picky Lego." I replied. He just sighed, and tried to cover his ears. I showed sympathy, and took out Simple Plan, replacing it with The Two Towers soundtrack. I played Rohan's Theme, and everyone began to actually enjoy the music. Curses these boring peoples. I retrieved my pants, and changed into them under my covers. Then I closed my eyes, I was hoping I would doze off tonight. .

Well, so much for that. Five hours later, and I still didn't sleep a wink. Curses this Elvisheyness! Legolas and three or four of the Elves that had survived Helm's Deep were wandering around, keeping guard for those who did have to sleep.

Once again, we were on the edge of Fangorn. I got up (and also once again my athletic pants were more like capris) and tried to listen to the forest. There was still some distrust in it, but there was also content, for Sauruman was now defeated.

I heard someone walking up to me, so I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw Legolas sneaking up on me. No one sneaks on Danielle without getting hurt! I turned around, this time putting my own dagger to his throat, and grabbing his wrist with which he was going to grab me with. He looked surprised.

"Thought you would try to get me back for earlier, huh, Elf boy? Well it ain't happening, k?" I said. .

"Erm, No. I was just going to ask you without waking up every human in the camp if you wanted to work watch with us.." Legolas said.

"Well, it's good to see you're not being sexist now, isn't it Lego Darling." I replied. "Sure I'll take watch." I jogged back to my little camp area thing and retrieved my bow, quiver, and knives, then went over and stood by a bunch of elves I didn't know.

I tried to make conversation, I really did! But it was like trying to talk to a rock.

"So...Rohan's a nice place...Where are you from?" I asked a tall dark haired elf.

"I am from Lorien, like all the elves that fought" He replied. Ah, yes. I do remember that fact. I think...

"Er...Yeah. Do you have name?" I asked him.

"Yes, My lady. It is Aduial, son of Baran" He replied. His name meant Evening, and his fathers name meant Golden Brown. Interesting.

"Nice name." I commented. This was getting boring. The sun was beginning to rise in the east, then I heard a shout.

"Everyone awake! The sun rises in the east, we must leave!" Gandalf shouted. Everyone was up and on their horses in ten minutes, packed up and ready to go. Well, except for me.

"What about coffee? I need coffee!" I complained.

"There is no time for..er. coffee." Legolas said.

"You don't even know what it is, you mamba jamba of an elf!" I said at him. I was in a very very bad mood. Legolas looked a little hurt. Serves him right, denying me coffee. I got into my backpack, and behold! I found a little package of instant coffee mix.

"I need boiling water and a cup!" I shouted, waving the little packet around wildly. Eomer pointed to where a fire was burning, an iron pot over it.

"Yay!" I said with pure joy. After my coffee was assembled, I drank it down before you could say "Orlando Bloom".

"Erm.. I'll catch up with you guys..again!" I said after the others, and they just nodded and rode off. One of the horseman was about to leave, when I grabbed him and asked him for a shovel. He nodded, and walked to a horse who had all these bags and junk on it. From one of the bags he removed a shovel. I thanked him, and he ran to catch up with everyone else.

I went over to Ambar, and heaved Haldir's body off of him. I struggled, but I made it into Fangorn, and smiled when I found the perfect place, beneath a big, thick tree. I went back, grabbed the shovel, and half an hour later I had dug a hole deep enough to completely cover the body. I then lowered Haldir into it, and then, for some reason, I thought of Boromier, and took his sword, put it in his right hand, and I took my necklace off of his neck, and put it in his left hand.

I then left a small note using some light green stationary from my backpack, and left a note telling anyone who found this body to please leave it in peace, that way thousands of years from now, they wont put his body into a museum ("where children can gawk at us and go 'look at the stupid elf who didn't make it', and then be put onto coffee mugs and t-shirts and mouse pads, and I guess that would be cool, but I want him to rest, Sam!" Inside joke, I then kissed his lips, but they were cold. Then I began to fill the dirt back in, and after that was done, I took out a bottle of spray paint (don't ask, the backpack of d00m has everything!) And marked the tree with a single blue dot, so at least I knew where it was.

Then I jumped on Ambar, and he galloped at full speed to catch up with everyone, even though it still took fifteen minutes to get there.

"Hey." I said to everyone.

"Hey?" Eomer asked. Boy, was he going to regret saying that in a few minutes. I began to chatter on and on about the different greetings my people use. Twenty minutes later, Aragorn had ridden beside me, and then in a flash, I was tied to my horse and gagged.

"Mph!" I shouted, at them, obviously cursing them. Everyone laughed, and I rolled my eyes. When we approached Isengard, they finally took my bindings off.

"Lle naa haran e' nausalle (You are a king only in your imagination)" I hissed at Aragorn.He gave me a look of confusion. I laughed, and trotted to Legolas.

"Welcome, Lords ("and Ladies!" I shouted in) to Isengard!" Merry said. Yay! I thought. We had made it through the creepy forest without being stomped on by angry ents! Pip was asleep, but Merry was digging his foot into Pip's side to wake him up.

Gimli went on to complain about how we had been searching for them for ages and now we find them drinking and smoking. I just shook my head, laughing, and ran up to them, hugging them both. (In a sisterly way you PHF's!)

"Where's the food? I'm starving for something other then Twinkies and Lembas bread (Twinkies were all I could find in my pack.)" I said. Gandalf went with Treebeard to "settle some matters", so after we all ate, and Gandy and Theo weren't back yet, I just hung around with everyone. Gimli, Aragorn, and the Hobbits were smoking, but since I know smoking causes lung cancer, and Legolas was an elf (his breath smells of flowers, I bet! He's so pure..all the elves are, well, cept for me!), we just stared at the sky in boredness.

"Isn't there anything to do!" I complained, "Doesn't Sauruman have, like, chess or something?"

"Chess?" Aragorn asked.

"Oh, wait. Forgot. It's nothing all of you primitive people can understand.." I said, sticking my tounge out.

"Primitive?" Legolas said.

"Si, Amigo. Primitive. In other words, undeveloped and low tech. Where I come from, we are at the height of technological thinginess!..." and on and on.

"Come, it is time to see Sauruman!" Gandalf shouted, and Legolas gave out a sigh of relief. I gulped, knowing that if this was anything like the movie, I was going to puke in about five minutes, because when Sauruman falls off that tower, it even made me queasy just in the movie! I hopped onto Ambar, and we rode in single file to Orthanac.


	12. 0o preeeeety robes

Authors Note:

I give up with this Author's note thing! If there's nothing important I'm not going to write it. So there sticks tounge out

To my reviewers:

Living Impared: I can see you are a friend of Crystals ahem lol. Ty for reviewing and yes, my grammer is horrible blows nose into Legolas's sleeve

Scribble Dream: If my character's are mary-sue, then I need to shoot myself to rid the world of one more mary-sue girl.. (.

Sapphire orb: Yay! You started a new story! WIth Legolas in it! And Eomer (cough coughboo!cough cough)

* * *

Danielle

"I will go up" Gandalf volunteered. "I have been in Orthanac and I know my peril." Theoden then volunteered as well, and Aragorn was bidden to come. Gimli stated him and Legolas needed and wanted to go to, and I didn't say anything, I just followed. No one said anything though ,they had been used to me just lurking behind them. Pippen began to complain about if he was really needed and of him wanting to go back and eat. I laughed at this.

When we came to the door, Gandalf beat his staff on the ground and shouted "Sauruman, Sauruman! Come Forth!"

Grima's head popped out. Eh, Wrong person. I believe we wanted _Sauruman! _"Go and fetch Sauruman!" Gandalf shouted to him, and then a few moments later, Sauruman came to the window. The fabric of his robes looked really neat, they changed color every time I blinked, or tuned my head. Some one else might have been thinking that I was trying to pop my neck or something, because I kept turning my head to watch the preeeety colors change.

"Well?" He began "Why do you disturb an old man's rest?" (A/n I cannot write everything exactly, so sorry!) His voice was sweet and flowing, it made me feel (be prepared for this!) Yes, all warm and fuzzy inside. Gandalf said something or other, but all I could hear was his voice. It sounded harsh and course compared to Sauruman's. They all spoke amongst each other, but I was In a trance, not listening to anything but Sauruman's voice and looking at his preeeety robes.

Then he spoke to me..."Lorwen, Danielle, why do you stay with these people?" He asked.

"They cannot help you, though I can. Come up to my tower, and we can discuss getting you back home. It will be easy, and if you really comply, I can even bring back someone you love.." He said. Not caring wether he was reading my mind or not, I was amazed. Could he bring back Haldir?

"Come on, all will be well." He said reassuringly. I slowly slipped off Ambar and walked towards the doors. I was half-way there when I felt two strong hands grip my shoulder, then pulling me back. I turned around, finding Lego behind me. I tried to shrug off his hands, but they were firm.

"What the Hell Legolas! Sauruman can help, he's going to take me home, he's going to bring back Haldir.!" I shouted at Legolas, tears in my eyes. Gandalf rode up beside us.

"He cannot bring back Haldir, no one can. Nor can you ever go back home, Lorwen." He said, then he turned back to Sauruman.

"Who are you to mess with this young girl's heart? Leave her be, Sauruman!" He shouted back. Legolas took Gimli and stuck him on Arod by himself, then picked me up, put me an Ambar, and mounted in front of me. I put my head on his shoulder, and realized elves are so cool to be with in times like these.

The rest of the conversation I never saw, nor heard, for I had profoundly stuck my fingers in my ears and squeezed my eyes shut, so not to be tempted again by Saurumans voice or clothes.

Where did he buy that stuff anyways? Oh, wait, must keep mind off Sauruman... lalalalalalalalalala cant hear him lalalalalalalalalala cant see him.

Eventually I felt Ambar move, and I looked up. Sauruman had crawled away unharmed (thank Valar!), and I made it out without showing my lunch.

"Naa lle quel? (Are you well?)" Legolas whispered.

"Yeah, think so..but how could I have been so stupid? I mean, I know Haldir can never come back, and I never will be able to return home. But still he seemed so right and kind and nice..."

I said.

"But do you think that now, Lorwen?" He asked. I shook my head, and Legolas continued "It is easy to fall prey to Sauruman 's trickery if you aren't prepared. He speaks with a sly tounge, and those that listen and obey usually fall into shadow." He said, then he turned back to facing forward.

The group of many humans, two elves (the others had departed when we reached Fangorn), a dwarf,. Two hobbits, and a wizard, rode straight to Rohan. The humans endured, and were able to ride all night. We finally made it to Edoras about four o'clock the next day according to my watch. The hobbits all fell asleep, and I think Gimli even fell asleep, though he won't admit it no matter how much I poke him. Curses.

"Hey Gandy, are we there yet?" I asked for, like, the billionth time.

"Yes." He said, relived. "I have had to deal with many a hobbits in my time, and they are a queer folk, but you, Lady Lorwen, are a most queer elf." Wait, that's the third time's someone said that, and the second Gandy said it! I hate that.

We rode up the streets of Edoras, cheers emitting from those who had come home to celebrate victory, but silent grief from those whose family did not return. I silently wished for them to be alright and to be able to handle the grief. I left Ambar to the stable hands and looked to Aragorn.

"So, what do I do now?" I asked, eager for something to do, and to keep my mind off things.

"You may prepare for tonight." He replied.

"And what happens tonight, oh mighty king." I said. Aragorn raised an eyebrow.

"I am not yet a monarch, and tonight we are celebrating our victory at Helms Deep." He said, and then walked up, obviously fed up with me and my endless questions. I ran up the stairs, and asked one of the guards where my room would be. He showed me to a door, and then walked off. I opened it, and inside was practically most of the fellowship.

"Hey! Come back here!" I shouted at the guard. He winced, but came back.

"What my lady?" He asked.

"Can't you see that all of them" I pointed at the fellowship "Are guys and no offense, but I can't share a room with guys. I mean, how the hell can I change and get ready, but its also bad enough I'm sleeping in the same room." I said.

"Don't worry, my lady, but you do have your own changing room, but as for your sleeping quarters, I am sorry to say that there is no more room anywhere else." said the guard, and then he bowed, and skittered (a/n yes, that is a new word, deal with it!) Away.

"Well, see you all in a few hours" I said, my face flushed. I wished I hadn't brought that whole changing/sleeping thing up in front of them. I shut the door and walked to my supposed 'changing room'. It was nice inside, with the exception it smelled slightly of horses.(no surprise there, all I can say is Welcome to Rohan!)

I searched through the closet. Tavern Dress. Tavern Dress. Frilly Dress (NO!), Riding Dress. I looked through my backpack. Gap pants, shorts, eek! A formal dress? I never even owned one. It was black, and the skirt on the bottom came down to a point. It had straps and I also found a black flower to pin to my hair. It was perfect, black looked good compared to my blonde hair. I smiled, the flower went well over my pointy ear.

Now for makeup. My bag came with most of the supplies. Lip Gloss, Mascara, Eye Shadow. I never was one for make up though, so it was just lip gloss and mascara for moi. I looked into the mirror again and realized my eyes had turned a deep, deep clear blue. It looked so cool! Being an elf rocked sometimes. I looked at my watch, and saw it was already seven.

I ran into the halls and made it just as Eowyn was handing Theo the cup. I stood next to Legolas, Gimli, and some smelly human.

"Hail the victorious dead!" Theoden shouted.

Legolas handed me a pint just in time for me to shout "Hail!" with everyone else. Then we began to lounge around. I watched Legolas and Gimli have a drinking match, and I laughed my head off. Legolas obviously had never been drunk before, and he was acting all weird. Well, actually, I hadn't ever been drunk, but whatever.

"Hey, Lorwen!" I heard Eomer shout from across the room. "Drinking match!" He said, pointing to his pint. I nodded and we met at a small table. I began to drink and drink and drink and ten minutes later, Eomer collapsed. He hadn't passed out, but I convinced everybody that it had to count. I felt drunk, but I ignored it.

I pulled out my stereo, and began to play the Macerana. Everybody tried to dance to it, but the only ones who really caught on were the hobbits (smart little things! Aren't they so chibi!) I changed the music to the ROTK soundtrack, and everyone either began to relax, or if you were some drunk human, try to start a riot. For example...

Eomer walked up to me. He then wrapped me in his arms and tried to kiss me! Of course, I punched him in the stomach, and knocked the wind out of him. He dropped me, and I fell on the floor. Brushing myself off, I decided to make Eomer jealous.

"Don't you ever try to hit on me again, you drunk foolish human!" I yelled, getting everyone's attention. Then I walked up to Legolas and kissed him, surprising everyone there, especially Lego and Eomer. Then as I slowly walked off to my room, I heard Aragorn whisper to Legolas "Re caele beika sereg. (She has had too much ale)"

I woke up a couple of hours later. I got up to walk around, and I saw Legolas was missing. Now, tell me, what would an elf possibly be doing at (checks watch) 12:30 pm? I jumped and and using elf stealthiness snuck out of the room. I found Legolas outside on the deck, his hood up so his face was shielded from the cold wind.

"The stars are veiled. A sleepless malice. Something stirs in the East." He said. Now, don't get all philosophical on me, bozo elf.

"Ah..Hey Legolas?" I asked.

"Yes Lorwen?"

"About that whole kiss thing this night... I don't know if I was just drunk, or if I really meant it, but just to let you know, I'm sorry for probably embarrassing you In front of all those people." I said.

"N'dela no'ta (Don't worry about it)" He told me. "But I feel you are still in debt to me, so.." He trailed off, and I got suspicious. What was the sucker going to make me do? He then swiftly turned around and the bozo elf tickled me! Tickled me! I couldn't stop laughing, and when Aragorn walked out, and I was rolling on the floor laughing, with Lego tickling me unmercifully. He looked up, and then stood up straight.

"I was just getting her back for earlier Aragorn." Legolas stated. Aragorn laughed, and I stumbled up, my hair now messed up. I took it down, but it blew all over in the wind (why is it always windy in rohan!), so I put my own hood up.

Legolas gave that whole "stars are veiled" speech to Aragorn, but then something came over me.

Elvey senses tingling! What the hell? They said that...

"He's here." Legolas said it for me. Sauron! HERE? We're doomed! All three of us ran to the room, and banged open the door to find poor little Pippen being possesed by a shiny round ball of d00m! Doing the first thing I could think of in my blonde peanut-shell head, I grabbed it from him. Big mistake.

I felt like I was taken to another place. I was back at Helm's Deep, Haldir fighting beside me. Then Sauron appeared, and he asked of my name and where I was. He hurt me when I didn't answer, and then I was ripped from the place back to real life.

Legolas had shaken the Palantir out of my hands, and it had rolled along on the floor until Gandy covered it with a cloth. I hadn't got all spaced out like Pip, but I still felt weak in the knees. Legolas and Aragorn had to help me up so I could stand

After inquiring Pip, Gandy came to me. "What did he say? Where were you?" He asked.

"I was at Helm's Deep. Haldir was fighting at my side. Sauron stopped all of the fighting, then asked me who I was and where I was now. I didn't answer, and he hurt me, then Lego got me out of that thing. Thank you lots Leggers." I said, patting his shoulder.

As soon as morning came, Gandy called for a conference. Apparently, even though the "fool of a took" had been possesed, we had learned Sauron plans to attack Minas Tirith. So he was going to take Pip and me to Minas Tirith.

"But you can't take me!" I cried out. "I need to be with the trio! Please? I promise to be a good queer elf." I said silently crossing my fingers behind my back. Heh heh.

"Well, since you weren't a halfling, he didn't believe you to be carrying the ring, so I'm assuming your safe. I think all they want you for is information from your homeland." Gandy said, nodding thoughtfully. Then Merry, Pipster, and I all walked out behind Gandy to say good-bye. As Pip rode out the gates behind Gandalf, he actually sent me a mental message.

"_Lorwen?" _He asked, his voice (or thoughts) quivering.

"_Yes Pippin?" _I replied.

" _You can talk to Ele too using this, right?" _He asked.

"_Uh-huh"_

"_Well, can you tell her I miss her and in case I don't get to see her after this, that I love her.." _He said.

"_Of course Pippin. I'll talk to you later!" _I said and I 'hung up'.

The day or so in Edoras passed by quickly between all the meetings and stuff. Basically me and Legolas just stood around the hall bored. Well, I was bored. Legolas was actually listening.

At the end of one planning meeting, Aragorn burst through the doors shouting "The beacons of Minas Tirith! The beacons have been lit! Gondor calls for aid!"

Theoden looked around, and everyone looked at him, to see if he would pass the test of a good king. He said "And Rohan will answer. I did my victory dance (twirl around, fall on butt, do the Macerana, then fall again break dancing.) Everyone stared, and I said "Well, you've never tried it so there!" Then, simultaneously, everyone tried to do it. I got confused, then I laughed and began to do it too.

Theo began to shout out orders to everyone, and I stumbled to the stables to find Ambar. He was already saddled and ready. I was craving a big mac sooooo bad, but there was no way I was getting one. When I trotted out of the stable, everyone was outside. Including that basterd of a human Eomer.

He looked at me and _winked._ I flipped my hair in the blonde I'm-annoyed-with-you-so-I'm-ignoring-you way. He laughed, and Legolas and Aragorn shot him looks of utter death threat. He winced, then moved behind us.

We started out for Minas Tirith at, like, four. It took only a little time to get the riddermark together. We rode out and the city was quiet with, what is it? Fear? Reverence? I obviously don't have enough mind and a big enough vocabulary to describe it. I took out my walkman CD player and put in Green Day. The time seemed perfect to listen to one of my favorite songs, "Boulevard of Broken Dreams." While I was listening to it, I though that this must be how Frodo feels, even though he has two friends with him.

_I walk a lonely road, _

_The only one that I have ever known _

_I don't know where it goes, _

_But it's only me and I walk alone _

_I walk this empty street _

_On the boulevard of broken dreams _

_Where the city sleeps _

_And I'm the only one and I walk alone_

"Make Camp!" Theoden shouted. Great, time to make camp. And this time when we got there, their was already lots and lots of people. But, of course, not enough. Curses. I just followed Lego and Aragorn when everyone split up, and we ended up on a ridge.

Legolas showed me that I got my own tent .Yay! No smelly people (even though Lego isn't smelly) to be sleeping by! Then we sat around a fire and chatted as dusk fell. It was really pretty, across the hills and mountains, so I grabbed my well used sketch pad out of my backpack. I had had it ever since I was thirteen and started taking art classes. Now I could draw pretty well.

"Hey Legolas? Can you draw?" I asked him.

He watched what I was doing for a minute then said "I think I want to try" I handed him that notebook and opened up an new one. After a few minutes of silent drawing, Legolas had drawn the entire sunset. How the hell did he do that? Elves caught on fast I guess to this whole arts and literature thing, I guess.

"Can I borrow this?" He asked. I nodded, and bent back over mine. I drew horses, men, a hobbit, Eowyn being dropped into a vat of chocolate syrup, and Aragorn holding the string to drop her in, laughing.

It was now well past nightfall, and I felt like 'sleeping', so I headed back to my tent. I dropped into bed, but there was a piece of paper on the pillow where I had laid down my head. I opened the paper up, and on it was a drawing I had done when I was 13 of me and Legolas getting kissing beside Crystal and Frodo. I guess we were all getting married, because there was a big, flowery archway above us.

I had done this in pencil, but in blue pen, someone had drawn crowns on our heads and had written above it in elvish "You forgot our crowns." _Our_ crowns... Legolas! Meep! Had he shown this to anyone? I was going to kill him. I stormed out and found him chatting with Bubbles.

"Did you show this to anyone?" I demanded, shoving the paper in his face, and sitting down beside him.

"Erm...only to Aragorn.." He said slowly. I began to repeatedly hit my hand against my forehead in utter annoyance.

"Alright. Just don't do it again, and Aragorn..don't you dare tell anyone about this, or your precious little 'kingly' sword will go missing, and you won't be able to command the dead." I said warning. Aragorn looked confused then nodded. Ha-ha. He didn't get half that sentence. I turned on Legolas.

"Where did you find that drawing?" I asked him.

"In that notebook you let me borrow. I was only trying to look for a blank piece of paper. I also saw some pretty funny ones of Frodo and Aragorn and certain drunk hobbits bending to get under a stick." He replied. Ah, yes. My all famous shit-faced drunk hobbits doing limbo. Heh heh. One of my personal Favorites.

I sighed. Legolas looked at me and then obviously, feeling confident, tried to kiss me. I pushed him away, shaking my finger and saying "Now Legolas, you know better. You're in trouble after tonight, no kissing until tomorrow, and only if you're a good elf, not a bozo elf."

After the attempted kiss I waved good-bye and said to Bubbles and Leggy "Don't leave without me, wake me up when you decide to go to the mountain." Aragorn once again looked confused, and then raised an eyebrow.

"Do you have the gift of foresight, Lorwen?" He asked.

"I guess you could say so" I said, nodding and holding back giggles. Then I skipped to my tent and jumped into bed, no little notes on my pillow this time.


	13. Ithilien and Emyn Muil

Chappie 4

The Dead Marshes and Ithilien

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. There. ...well, except my bobble head dolls, posters, magnets, standees, video games, books, etc.

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We had been walking for about two days, when Gollum finally lead us out of Emyn Muil.

"See, see? We've lead you out! Hurry, hobbitses, hurry. Very lucky we find you." Gollum seemed far too happy about how things were going. Nasty little creature. Frodo walked ahead.

We were walking for some time, when I heard a splash behind me.

"Frodo!" Sam cried. Apparently, he had fallen into the water. Disgusting, if you ask me. I ran over to where he had fallen in, but Gollum got to him first and hoisted him out. The poor thing was covered in slime.

Frodo called out to Gollum, who just replied, "Don't follow the lights."

That night, I was exhausted from all of the walking, and fell asleep very quickly. Frodo loudly complained about my snoring, and declared he couldn't sleep. I slept like a log, but was woken up to hear a horrible screeching noise. 

It sounded worse than nails scratching on a blackboard, playing in harmony with a hundred chainsaws in unison. Gollum was screaming his head off, and Frodo fell over clutching his shoulder. Sam and I both dragged him underneath a bush with Gollum.

"Quick! They will see us, they will see us!" Gollum screamed. Damned Gollum, with his annoying obviousness.

"I thought they were dead!" Sam shouted.

"Ah, yes. They're dead, Sam. You can really kill the Sauron's most faithful and powerful servants with a flood." I rolled my eyes and grabbed Frodo's hand. Poor lil' dude.

"...I knew that." He said.

After a while, the Nazgul flew away on his lizard thing. We all got up, and started to walk again, slightly shaken.

"Hurry hobbits. The Black gate is very close." Gollum said.

We all finally got out of the Marshes. I had thought the smell of dead bodies and seaweed would go away, but now it just reeked of ash... and dead bodies. I would probably have to get used to that.

"The Black Gate of Mordor." Gollum announced.

I looked over the cliffs edge, to see the Black Gate. Even though we were at least eighty feet off of the ground, I had to strain my neck to see the top.  
"Holy crap!" I declared. I guess you could say I was at a loss for words.

"Now that's an eye opener, and no mistake." Sam replied.

We sat there for a minute, while Frodo and Gollum were talking about 'keeping promises' and all of that annoying stuff. Suddenly, the rock we were standing on gave way. It didn't help that an entire army of Easterling warriors were approaching the gates quickly.

"Frodo, my love, save me!" I shouted. Sam and I rolled down the side of the cliff, and ended up being wedged in the sand next to each other. I was having a fun time poking him in the side while he tried to get out.

Frodo finally came down, and panicking, threw his cloak over both of us to keep us from being seen. I held myself back from throwing my arms around Frodo, after all, we were laying right next to each other.

After what seemed like ages, Frodo finally lifted his cloak up. He pulled me out, and we both ran behind a boulder close by.

He turned to the both of us. "I do not ask you to come with me."

"I know, Mr. Frodo." Said Sam. "I doubt even these elvish cloaks will hide us in there."

I nodded, and leaned forward, ready to run.

"NOW!" Frodo shouted.

As we lunged forward, I felt something grab the back of my cloak. Typical.

"No!" Gollum exclaimed.

"Curse you, you fool!" I shouted to him. He ignored me and went on.

"They catch you! They catch you!" Frodo attempted to go forward again, only to be pulled back. "Don't take it to him! He wants the Precious. Always, he's looking for it. And the Precious is wanting to go back to  
him."

I leaned back, and brushed the gravel off of my skirt as they continued to go back and forth for some time. After a bit of arguing, it was decided we would take Gollum's 'secret way,' past the 'path,' and the 'stairs,' and the 'tunnel.'

"Damned tunnel, with it's tunnelly ways. I'll get it one day, you'll all see!" I proclaimed. I got a few odd looks, and we started walking.

"Good Smeagol. Always helps."

The next day, we came across a stream. I gratefully took out my water bottle and began filling it.

"What's that?" Sam asked, clearly not knowing the wonders of plastic.

"Well, Sam, it's a magical substance, known as plastic."

He stared at the bottle dumbfounded. "Well, what's it made out of?"

"Er... I'll get back to you on that..." I turned around and saw Gollum chasing after a fishie. My eye twitched slightly. "Hey, look at that! Gollum's in the water!" I walked away happily, eating a twinkie, and to my dismay, heard Frodo and Sam get into a fighting match.

"Meep!" I cried, and ran over to find them yelling something or other about Gollum. I realized it would be best not to interfere, so I stepped to the side and stuffed my mouth with the twinkie. Surprisingly, processed foods taste better after being sent thousands of years back in time into an alternate dimension. Mmmm. Twinkies.

That night I slept soundly, but was woken up by the sound of Gollum squealing. He was going to pay for waking me up...

"Gollum, you're going to pay for waking me up..." I muttered. I am not a morning person, (for the record) so the little bugger was in for a treat.

"Oh Golluuuuum..." I grabbed the first object I could find from my mini-backpack of DOOM, which just so happened to be a paperweight. I held it up threatingly to Gollum, who was in far too happy of a mood to care.

He skipped around me in circles, laughing and singing... and then, patted me on the head. "Nice she-hobbit. Gets her rest, lots of walking ahead of us, yess." He pranced off happily, jumping every so often. I sighed heavily and went back to sleep.

The next day I was exhausted from being woken up the night before, so I took a nap next to Frodo. Apparently Gollum had been busy hunting, and woke us up with the wonderful treat of two dead rabbits being dropped into our laps. I broke into sobs when I saw them.

"Nooooo!" I wailed.

"What is it?" Frodo asked.

I sniffed. "It's just… when I was little, only about four years old, my pet rabbit had a heart attack."

"A heart attack?"

"A heart attack!" I screamed. "One of our cats had gotten a hold of it's cage, and scared the poor thing to death! And now I wake up to find two dead rabbits sitting on my lap!" I ran off crying, letting the rabbit in my lap fall to the ground. Frodo ran after me.

"Elanor!" He shouted. I stopped. "I'm sure Gollum didn't mean to upset you." I turned around to face him, and stared at him for a while. "Come on, let's get back to camp." He said. I wiped my face with my sleeve, and lifted my chin up. "Alright, but you can't make me have any!"

We both walked back, to find Gollum teasing Sam.

"What's it doing? Stupid, fat hobbit! You ruins it!"

"What's to ruin? There's hardly any meat on 'em. What we need is a few good taters." He tossed in some herbs, and Frodo went to get plates. I dug through my backpack, muttering curses at Gollum.

"What's taters, precious? What's taters, eh?"

"Tee hee. Gollum said 'eh.' Hee hee hee…" I began to erupt into giggles of doom.

"POTATOES. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.' Sam got a look of longing in his eyes. "Lovely, big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish."  
I looked at Sam. He seemed a little bit too fond of potatoes…. "Here," I tossed him a bag of potato chips from my mini-backpack of DOOM, "Try some of these. They're fried potatoes, with loads of preservatives, MSG, and other goodness like that." He handed the bag back to me, and continued making the stew. Frodo alerted us to some loud bird calls, coming from not too far away. He ran off to find the source.

I picked up my pack and the chips, and ran down the hill we were sitting on top of. Frodo was lying on the ground, staring out at a large army of Easterlings. Sam and Gollum came up not much later.

"Who are they?" Sam asked.

"Wicked men!" Gollum replied. "Servants of Sauron. They are called to Mordor. The Dark One is gathering all armies to him. It won't be long now. He will soon be ready."

"Ready to do what?"

"To make his war. The last war, that will cover all the world in shadow."

"Boy, that sure sounds pleasant." I said. "Foolish mortals, with their useless wars, and quarreling amongst themselves. Can't we all just get along?" Frodo got a concerned look, and told all of us to gather our things. He went to get up, and Sam took him by the arm.

"Mr. Frodo, look." He said. "It's an Oliphaunt. No one at home will believe this."

I looked down, and saw several elephant like animals coming our way. They had various rugs draped over their backs, and all of them had a fort-like thing on their back. Each one hosted at least twenty of the Haradrim (or Easterlings, or whatever you want to call them!), with a captain at the front. I had wished that Lorwen was there to see them with me, when I remembered that she might be pitted against them at the Pellanor. I was terrified, and fully realized that neither one of us may see each other again.

Suddenly, Gollum ran off. At the same moment, a torrent of arrows came down from the back of the Oliphaunts. I noticed one slip past my ear, and went to stand up, when I heard a thud to the side. I stood back, mortified, seeing it as a dead body.

"We've lingered here too long.' Frodo stated. "Come on, Sam." I was already backing up, and felt strong hands grip my arms. Reflexes from four years of training in karate-do kicked in, and I landed a swift kick to the Ranger's groin. He moaned, and lifted his grip on me. I slipped out, and drew my sword.

"Oh, what do you think of me now?" I started doing my happy dance, (bob arms and head side to side, do chicken dance, spin around, sit down on the floor, repeat) when I noticed that my 'captor' was a Ranger. "..oh. I'm in trouble now, aren't I?" Three of the Rangers rushed towards me, and pinned me down on the ground. I went to get up, when I felt the cold grip of steel on my throat.

Faramir walked up, and took off the hood of his cloak. "Bind their hands."

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	14. Are we there yet?

Chappie 5

Are we there yet?

A/N: As stated in the previous chapter, I'm going to be basing all of The Return of the King off of the books, not the movies. This will take effect in the next chapter… expect very poor quotes! Disclaimer: Check the first chapter, you sue-happy freaks! 

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"Are we there yet?"

"No."

"Are we there yet?" 

"…no."

"Are we there yet?"

"No! Faramir, may I?" My captor pulled out a cloth. My hands were already bound (very tightly, mind you), and my eyes were covered, so what was he going to do?

I felt a cloth being jammed into my mouth. I tried to spit it out, but there was another one wrapped over it. Curse them! I could hear all of the men laughing. Smelly fools. They'll all see. One day… they'll all see!

To pass the time, I started to sing, "One hundred bottles of beer on the wall," which I stopped abruptly. Not really due to the fact I was getting odd looks from all of the Rangers, but because I was craving ale just thinking about it. I resolved to sing, "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves." Of course, it sounded more like, "Hurm rrhu gah grr orh." It didn't seem to be bothering anyone, so I began to kick the ranger in front of me in the back of his leg. He recoiled.

"That's it!" he shouted. "I can't take any more of this!" I felt my feet bound together, and I was hoisted up. Now I was gagged, my hands and feet were bound, and I was being carried. I continued my humming.

I eventually fell asleep. I woke with a start to find myself lying on cold stone. I touched the ground and looked up. My bonds had been taken off, and I was in a large room, filled with many boxes of food.

"Food!" I shouted. I ran towards the nearest box and hugged it. I felt a hand placed on my shoulder again, and a harsh voice told me to meet Faramir, where I was to be questioned with my companions. Of course, I really had no other choice, so I began walking off.  
As I was walking, I took notice of how beautiful the view was. Basically, I was standing on a ledge inside of a waterfall. The sun was just beginning to set, and I could see all of Ithilien stretched out before me. My attention was diverted, however, when I ran into the back of Sam.

He stepped to the side. "Watch it, will you?"

"Sorry, sorry!" I said. I walked around him, and stood behind Frodo. Faramir was drilling them both with questions, which Frodo seemed to handle well. He asked about Gollum, and I pent up with rage. Sam glanced over us.

"What are you looking at?' I asked.

Faramir turned to me. "Ah yes. The troublesome maiden… your companions have not mentioned you yet."

I lifted my head up. "My name is Elanor Fairbanks, and I hail from a distant land. Frodo and Sam are of my kin…' I faltered. I felt like I would never be able to adjust to changing my race, entirely. "…we set out from Rivendell with eight companions. One was lost in Moria, two were of our kin. There were also a dwarf, two elves, and two men; Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and Borimir of Gondor."

Faramir stared at me. "You were a friend of Borimir?"

Frodo spoke up. "Yes, for my part."

"It would grieve you then to learn that he is dead."

"Dead!" I cried, "No more whacking him in the side with baseball bats? No Borry-poo ogling Pip-Pip and Merry? No!" I held onto Frodo, who was in shock.

"How? When?" He questioned.

"As one of his companions, I was hoping you would tell me." Faramir paused, and turned his head away. "He was my brother."

All that evening, I wandered around, looking for plenty of food and water supplies. I remembered that this was the last real stop we would have for any, so I was going to take a full advantage of it. One of the men noticed me wandering around.

"You would do well to keep out of our stores, milady." He grabbed the bag I was toting around with me, and walked off, 'resuming his duties,' or whatever he was supposed to do.  
"Curse you!" I shouted, just as he disappeared from site. I went back to Frodo and Sam, and tried to get some rest.

I felt Frodo's sleeping bag move. I opened my eyes, to see him and Faramir turn a corner. I ran behind them, trying to keep out of sight. I followed them for several minutes, and they finally reached a small waterfall, lined with stones. "Down there." Faramir whispered, still oblivious I was standing nearby.

A small figure was swimming inside, who I recognized as Gollum. He was humming a song, clearly about fish.

"To enter the forbidden pool bears the penalty of death." He nodded towards bowmen, lined all along the walls surrounding the pool.

I was overwhelmed with pity for Gollum, who, now having caught a fish, seemed to have his attention taken away from his lust for the Ring. I could imagine just the very thought of it gnawing away at his mind, leaving him the poor, filthy, wretched creature that he was. I wished I could help him somehow, but I knew that he was beyond saving.

Faramir interrupted my train of thought, once again. "They wait for my command. Shall I shoot?" he began to raise his hand.

Gollum began to sing louder.

''Rock and pool,   
is nice and cool,

so juicy sweet!

I only wish, to catch a fish

So Juicy sweet…'

"No!" I cried out. Faramir spun around, as did Frodo, along with all of the bowmen's attention now diverted towards me. Gollum was still singing happily down below.

"You can't harm that little thing… it isn't his fault that he's like that. Besides…"

Frodo chimed in, "He is our guide. This creature is bound to me, and I to him. Please! Let me go down to him." Faramir nodded, an Frodo ran down a stair nearby. I watched as he lured Gollum to the water's edge, unaware. I couldn't contain myself any longer, and ran down after him. Gollum was being taken by the guards.  
"Master!" He cried. He was taken away. Frodo stared at me, looking miserable. I hugged him.

"It's okay, everything is going to be alright. You'll see."

Frodo started sobbing into my shoulder. "No, it isn't. Sam was right." He looked at me, tears streaming down his face. "The Ring has taken a hold of me, Elanor. I have to go talk to him…" He ran off, back towards the camp, wiping his face on his sleeve. I stood there, watching him go out of sight.

"Why me!" I screamed, pounding my fists into the wall next to me. Wonderful, now I had bloody hands, and had no idea on how to get back to Frodo and Sam.

After walking for what seemed like an hour, I finally got back to camp.

I saw Frodo cornered, with Faramir holding his sword up to his neck. I drew my sword and ran over.

Frodo let out a cry and fell back against the rock wall behind him, cowering in the corner.

"Leave him alone!" I shouted. Sam followed suit.

"Stop it! Don't you understand? He's got to destroy it. That's where we're goin'. Into Mordor, to the mountain of fire."

Another tall man entered the room.

"Osgiliath is under attack." He stated. They call for re-enforcements."

"Please." Sam pleaded. "It's such a burden. Will you not help him?"

"Captain?"

Faramir turned back around, sheathing his sword. "Prepare to leave. The Ring will go to Gondor."

That night I slept uneasily, and had several odd dreams. In one of them, a young girl obsessed with Kiba from Wolf's Rain had pushed me off of a cliff edge, onto Frodo. In another, I was chased by a giant penguin holding a flaming chainsaw. I woke up screaming, in a puddle of my own sweat. Sam was kicking me in the side, saying the Rangers were leaving. I got up, grabbed a wafer of Lembas, and headed out.

This time around the whole 'Ithilien troops' were far more friendly to us, (my hands were free) and we were able to walk amongst the rest of them. All but of course Gollum, who was on a leash. (Again.) Poor, dejected little fool. We stopped atop of a hill, looking out over the ruins of a city. One of the men pointed out it was… on fire.  
"Indeed!" I shouted, feeling the need to be noticed.

"Mordor has come." Said another.

Frodo cried out, "The Ring will not save Gondor. It has only the power to destroy!" I swooned a bit, waiting for him to finish. "Please! Let me go!"

Faramir completely ignored him. "Hurry!" He shouted. We all picked up our pace and ran into Osgiliath.As we all entered the city, I noticed chaos all around me. Pieces of buildings were raining from the sky, and arrows came whizzing over my head. There had to be a thousand or more orcs charging towards us. I noticed Frodo was breathing heavily. He leaned against the wall behind him."Frodo?" Sam walked over to him."It's calling to him, Sam. His eye is almost on me." I held Frodo's hand, and looked up towards Faramir. Sam started to comfort him, but it was clear he wasn't getting a word of it in. A man ran towards us."Take them to my father." Faramir commanded. It took all of my self restraint to keep from attacking him. "Tell them that Faramir sends a mighty gift." His glance strayed to Frodo's chest. "A weapon that will change our fortunes in this war."Sam's face turned red. "You wanna know what happened to Boromir? You wanna know why your brother died! He tried to take the Ring from Frodo. After swearing an oath to protect him, he tried to kill him! The Ring drove your brother mad!""Watch out!" The guard screamed. A boulder collided with one of the towers, and I dove out of the way to keep from becoming squished. I heard another scream from up ahead, but this time it was coming from a fell beast. Frodo eyes rolled into the back of his head."Frodo! No! Not now, definitely a bad time to become possessed!" I ran over to him.He stood up. "They're here. They've come.""Nazgul!" Faramir shouted. Everyone panicked, as more Nazgul flew in. More buildings rain down from above. He came over to us and took Frodo and me by the shirt. He tossed us against the wall."Stay here. Keep out of sight." He ran off, and starting shouting orders to his men. "Take cover!" He screamed at them.I sat down, holding my hands to my ears, keeping my eyes closed."What are you doin'!" Sam shouted. Frodo was walking out into the open, heading straight for the fell beast.Frodo walked up a flight of stairs, leading out onto a long strip of cement. The Nazgul perched on the edge. Frodo took the ring off of it's chain, and pulled it close to his finger. I sat there, staring, dumbfounded. Sam ran up the stairs and pushed Frodo off, just as the fell beast dived for him. They tumbled down the other side of the stairs, landing on the ground. I ran over to them, calling out for Frodo. He rolled over, holding Sam to the ground, and drew Sting to his throat. Sam sobbed."It's me. It's your Sam… don't you know your Sam?" Frodo drew Sting closer to his throat, and then fell back, dropping his sword to the ground.He let out a sigh. "I can't do this, Sam."Sam got up from the ground, and began his speech of DOOM! (A/N: You all know the one I'm talking about… sniffs I cry every time I hear it. gets a box of tissues ready)"I know, it's all wrong. By all rights we shouldn't even be here." Tears came to both of our eyes. I nodded sagely. "But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes, you didn't want to know the end, because…" I started tearing up. "How could the end be happy?" I started sobbing. "How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something, (A/N: author is in tears, sobbing) even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turnin' back, only they didn't. They kept on goin', because they were holding onto something.""What are we holding onto Sam?" Frodo asked. Tears were streaming down my face.Sam walked over and lifted Frodo up to his feet. "That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and that it's worth fighting for."I ran over to Frodo and Sam, and dragged them both into a hug. "I love you guys!" I cried. "…and I wouldn't give anything in the world not to be with you." I smiled, and saw Faramir walking up. Frodo turned to him, and Faramir knelt down."I think at last we understand one another, Frodo Baggins."Another annoying human walked up to us. "You know the laws of our country, the laws of your father."I coughed, "Ah, yes. The abusive psychotic pyromaniac bent on world domination?"He glared at me. "If you let them go, your life will be forfeit.""Then it is forfeit." I beamed at Faramir."Aww, they grow up so fast. I'm so glad that you're being nice again. Are you going to be on our way now?" I hoisted my backpack onto my shoulders."Yes, little one. Release them!" The guards standing around us let up and went away. I did my happy dance, and Sam gathered his stuff up. Gollum came out from behind the pillar he was behind, and we all left, of course, not before thanking Faramir for all of his… 'hospitality.' he gave us some food and water as a parting gift, and we left Osgiliath.The next day while walking, Sam started to ponder what our future would have in store for us."I wonder if we'll ever be put into songs or tales?" He questioned aloud."What?" Frodo asked."I wonder if people will ever say, 'Let's hear about Frodo and the Ring,' and they'll say, 'Yes, it's one of my favorite stories!' 'Frodo was really courageous, wasn't he Dad.' 'Yes, my boy, the most famousests of hobbits, and that's sayin' a lot.'"I smiled. "You've left out one of the chief characters," Frodo pointed out. "Samwise the brave! 'I want to hear more about Sam.'" Frodo stopped walking and turned around. "Frodo wouldn't have gotten very far if it wasn't for Sam.""Now, Mr. Frodo, don't make fun. I was bein' serious.""So was I." Frodo smiled again and resumed walking. I ran to catch up with him, and planted a kiss on his cheek."Samwise the brave." Sam pondered. "Hmm…"Frodo looked around one of the trees we came up to. "Smeagol?""We're not going to wait for you!" He called. "Come on!"We walked around for a few minutes, calling for him.Sam was getting frustrated. "Where's he gone to? Ai, Gollum! Where are you?""Smeagol?" Frodo called.He peeked out from behind a tree ahead of us. I sighed, glad to get on our way."Come on, hobbits!" He smiled and danced about a bit. "Long ways to go yet! Smeagol will show you the way. Follow me…"

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	15. The winding stairsof D00m!

Chappie 6

The Winding Stairs… of DOOM!

A/N: Here it is… The Return of the King! Buahahha! Look for annoying telepathy of doom!

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, other than Elanor.

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Much to all of our relief, Gollum had decided to take a path through the woods for some miles, avoiding the roads, along with giving us the cover of the trees. Faramir had provided all of us with plenty of dried meats and fruits, along with several loaves of bread. At the rate we went at, we covered some twenty miles before resting for the night. The sun fell very early, and my brain still hadn't adjusted to going to bed so early. However, my body gave up a good fight and I collapsed at the foot of a large tree.

That morning, (or whatever time it was) I woke up to see Gollum hovering over me. I let out a scream.

"How dare you lean over me like that!" I sat up. "Did I ever give you permission to come over me! What's your problem! Back off!" Sam grinned.

Gollum crawled backwards, getting some good distance from me. I help up the paperweight defensively.

"So sorry, yess. But hobbits must get up at once, yes, they must!" He said. "Long ways to go still, south and east. Hobbits must make haste!"

We went along at the same pace, almost the same way as the day before. I noticed that the silence around us deepened the further walked, though. Gollum occasionally stopped to sniff the air, and then made us move along at a faster speed. Several hours later, I became aware that the trees had cleared, and we were nearly standing out in the open. The trees were scattered far and wide, and there was no move of any bird, or small animal for that matter, to be seen. Gollum became even more wary, and made us hide in the shadows of the trees.

With night approaching, we finally came to the end of the forest. We were standing over a large valley, overlooking another forest ahead. To the left, I saw what had to have been Mordor. It looked barren, with no signs of life to be seen. Mount Doom leered over us in the distance. On my right, I could see a red sunset, framing Gondor. My mind went out to Lorwen, for I felt utterly afraid, and knew that either one of us may not make it back to see each other.

I had just remembered! We both had telepathy. Smacking myself on the forehead, I tried to contact Danielle.

"Danielle? It's Elanor."

"Where are you?" She asked.

I tried to remember where we were headed next. "We're coming to the witch-king's tower."

"Well, the battle of Helm's Deep went pretty okay..." Uh oh. Danielle never trails off like that. Something was up! I knew it!

"I can feel your sadness...what happened? Did Lego or Bubbles die!"  
"No...Haldir fell during the battle.." I stopped walking. The poor thing, after all of that… they could have had a house together, with three kids, and a little white picket fence, and a dog named 'Skippy' with a black spot over one eye!

"Oh, God...How in the world are you handling it? I myself by then would have committed suicide by drowning myself in a vat of blueberry muffin dough..." I resumed walking. We were coming towards a dark road, and I could sense we were getting closer to the Witch king's tower.

"I have to go, we have reached the tower. Time for Frodo to act possessed! Please do not worry too much, I don't want you to become a sad elf. Sad elves are not cool elves, ok?"

I 'hung up,' and stood, looking up at the tower. It was completely dark outside, but there was a pale light coming from the building. Not any light, mind you! It was of a greenish color, and although it illuminated the building, it stopped a few inches away from the walls. Gollum continued to lead us through the darkness, occasionally looking back at us.

We came to a white bridge, leading into the land of the Witch king. A river foamed beneath us, giving off steam. I began to walk the other way, when I caught Frodo walking over the bridge. I let out a cry.

"Frodo, no!" I shouted. I ran over towards him, and grabbed him by the arm. He continued to stumble forward, reeling like a drunken man.

"Not that way!' Gollum hissed. "No, not that way!" This time, Sam ran over and took Frodo by his other arm.

"Hold up, Mr. Frodo!" He came by Frodo's ear. "Come back! Not that way. Gollum says not, and for once I agree with him."

Frodo stopped struggling, and brought his hand up to his brow. He twisted his head away from the tower, and finally turned back.

We trudged along a dark, narrow path for a while, having nothing to light the way aside from when Gollum would turn his head around. I swear, I was going to have nightmares from his eyes! We finally reached higher grounds, away from the stream. It had just hit me like a rock how far we had walked, and I begged to stop for a rest. They complied, and we sat down near a large boulder nearby. At once, Gollum started to complain.

Frodo leaned over, looking to be half asleep. Gollum continued to tug on Frodo, beckoning to come.

"Not yet, not yet" He replied. "I must rest." I looked over at Gollum, who just made more attempts to get us to leave.

"Not here, no. Not rest here. Fools!" Gollum hissed. "Eyes can see us. When they come to the bridge, they will see us. Come away! Climb, climb! Come!"

Sam turned to Frodo again. "Come, Mr. Frodo. He's right again, we can't stay here."

I looked to Frodo, full of worry.

"All right," he replied, "I will try." he stood on his feet. I went over to him, and felt the ground shake.

"Earthquake!" I whispered, dropping to the ground. Californian instincts never really left me. Gollum hoisted me up.

I spun around, and saw what appeared to be a bolt of lightning shoot up from the ground. A wave of noise and light followed it. The clouds lit up overhead, with the beam of light still radiating. Thunder and more lightning followed, in shades of blue and orange. Thousands of cries came from the tower, horses whinnied and battle cries were heard. Then, a long shriek, with a higher pitch than any I had heard let loose. I cast myself on the ground, holding my hands up to my ears.  
The cry finally ended. I looked up, holding myself at eye level with the gate, that was now wide open. The army of Mordor filed out. Their ranks had to be at least ten thousand, as far as I could see into the building, there were orcs. And still they came. There were black horses, and Uruk-hai, captains, trolls, and any other fell beast you could possibly imagine. And at the head of them all stood their King, cloaked all in black, save a crown on his head. I had not previously seen any of the Nazgul before, but it was unmistakable. I turned my gaze towards Frodo, and realized it was that very creature that had stabbed him on Weathertop. Frodo drew his hand to his shoulder, wincing with pain. I crawled over towards him and held his hand.

Suddenly, the entire company halted. The man at front turned his head around, looking in all directions. He was sensing the Ring. I saw Frodo's free hand move slowly towards his neck, groping for the Ring. I stared, unwillingly, having no clear idea of what to do. Then, I saw his hand move slowly back, and grip something out my of sight. He sighed and bent his head forward.

The band of orcs continued walking, row after row, and Frodo spoke.

"The storm has burst at last. This great array of spears and swords are going to Osgiliath. Will Faramir get across in time? He guessed it, but did he know the hour? And who now can hold the fords while the king of the nine Riders comes? And other armies will come. I am too late. All is lost. I tarried on the way. All is lost. Even if my errand is performed, no one will know. There will be no one I can tell. It will all be in vain." He began to weep. And still, the army of Mordor crossed the bridge.

I leaned over to him. "It will not be in vain. You will succeed, and everything will be back to the way it was. And Faramir will overcome his deranged father, and you will accomplish your task. And I'll see Lorwen again… you and Sam will save Middle-earth. There's no place for despair, here. You just need to finish the task that was given to you." Frodo wiped the tears from his eyes. Sam came over, I took my pack and got up.

"Wake up, Mr. Frodo, wake up!" He whispered.

"He's not asleep, fool!" I rolled my eyes. "Maybe tired, but not asleep. We had better get going, it looks like the orcs have finally gone." Sure enough, the last of the orcs had walked out of sight. Gollum came crawling up, cursing.

"Foolish, silly!" He looked at all of us. I shuddered and turned around. "Must make haste! They mustn't think the danger has past. It hasn't. make haste!"

Frodo was now standing, smiling even. I noticed a light shine through his shirt, it must have been the Phial Galadriel gave to him. I walked back over to him, and motioned to follow Gollum. We all began walking.

We came to a rock wall, that appeared to have been damaged. The indentations turned out to be the stairs.

"How the hell are we supposed to climb that!" I shouted. I didn't receive any replies, and they were already starting up the cliff edge. I muttered and started climbing.

It really was hell trying to get up the cliff. Each step was placed unevenly, and a couple crumbled under my feet as a climbed up. After an hour or so of climbing, with no clear view of the top, I started to give of hope of getting there. Gollum looked down at us.

"We're up.' He whispered. "First stairs past. Clever hobbits to climb so high, very clever hobbits. Just a few more little steps and that's all, yes."

I crawled up the last few steps, and threw myself onto the ground. I sat rubbing my knees and feet for a few minutes, when Gollum spoke up again.

"There's another stair still. Much longer stair. Rest when we get to the top of next stair. Not yet."

Sam turned around and groaned. "Longer, did you say?" he asked. I laid back and tried to rest while I could. My legs were still throbbing from the climb.

"Yes, yess, longer." He replied. "But not so difficult. Hobbits have climbed the Straight Stair. Next comes the Winding Stair."

"And what after that?" Asked Sam.

"We shall see. Oh yes, we shall see!"

I backed up a few inches. "Alright, Gollum, you're just starting to creep me out now." He smiled.

Sam brought up the damned tunnel again, to which Gollum told us we could rest when we got to the top of it. Frodo stood at the side of the cliff we now faced, shivering.

"Well, let's go on!" He said. "This is no place to sit in."

At that, we started walking again. We were in a dark passage that seemed to go on for miles. The whole while we seemed to be rising upward, and there was a cold wind coming in on us. We finally came out of the passage, or at least partially. The entire right side of the cliff was exposed, and we were standing atop a large slab of stone. I looked around, trying to discern the shadows around us. In the distance, there was a faint red light. Everything was dark. I felt a tug on my leg, apparently I had gotten left behind. Gollum stood near my feet, trying to get me to move. I started walking again.

After what had to have been hours, we came to the winding stair. It wasn't built directly into the mountain, but rather a path winding up along the road. I didn't really see the point of the path going all over the place instead of in one straight line, but Gollum urged us all to keep to the path. I followed reluctantly.

At last we came to a short flight of stairs, which opened up to what seemed to be another level in the mountain. The red light was stronger, which I wasn't able to tell whether or not was a feeble sunrise, or a shadow of the giant flaming eyeball of DOOM, also known as Sauron. We were completely surrounded by rocks and boulders of all sorts, but mostly the large kind. I looked ahead to the end of the road, and saw two massive, black towers ahead. There was a horn atop each one.

Sam lifted his head up, looking towards the towers. "I don't like the look of that!" He said. So this secret way of yours is guarded after all." He turned now to Gollum. "As you knew all along, I suppose?"

"All ways are watched, yess." Gollum said. "Of course they are. But hobbits must try some way. This may be least watched. Perhaps they've all gone away to big battle, perhaps?"

"Perhaps." Sam grunted. "Well, it still seems a long way off, and a long way up before we get there. And there's still the tunnel. I think you ought to rest now, Mr. Frodo."

I pouted, feeling neglected.

"I don't know what time of day or night it is, but we've kept going for hours and hours." Sam stated.

"Yes, we must rest." said Frodo. "Let us find some corner out of the wind, and gather our strength- for the last lap."

We all sat back against the wall, and took a small meal. I was extremely thirsty, but Sam would only let me take a mouthful of water. Damn rationing. After we ate, I went ahead and laid down to get some sleep. Frodo and Sam must have not noticed, because they were talking the whole while.

I woke up later to hear Frodo crying out in his sleep. Taking brief notice of the fact I was laying in Sam's lap, (not to mention I was sleeping next to Frodo) I sat up and turned to the offender. Of course, it was Gollum pawing at Frodo's hand.

"Hey, you!" Sam grunted. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing, nothing." Gollum replied softly. "Nice master!" If I hadn't known better, I could have sworn he was smiling.

"I daresay. But where have you been to- sneaking off and sneaking back, you old villain?"

Gollum leaned back on all fours, recoiling. "Sneaking? Sneaking! Hobbits always so polite, yes. O nice hobbits! Smeagol brings them ways that nobody else could find. Tired he is, thirsty he is, yes thirsty; and he guides them and he searches for paths, and they say sneak, sneak. Very nice friends, O yes my precious, very nice."

"Sorry. I'm sorry, but you startled me out of my sleep."

"Me too!" I chimed in.

Sam shot me the death glare… of DOOM!"…and I shouldn't have been sleeping, and that made me a bit sharp. But Mr. Frodo, he's that tired, I asked him to have a wink; and well, that's how it is. Sorry. But where have you been to?"

"Sneaking." Gollum hissed.

"O very well," said Sam. "have it your own way! I don't suppose it's so far from the truth. And now we'd better all be sneaking along together. What's the time? Is it today or tomorrow?"

"It's tomorrow." Gollum answered. "Or this was tomorrow when hobbits went to sleep. Very foolish, very dangerous- if poor Smeagol wasn't sneaking about to watch."

"I think we shall get tired of that word soon. But never mind. I'll wake master up." Sam leaned over Frodo and smoothed back the hair on his head. "Wake up, Mr. Frodo! Wake up!"

Frodo opened his eyes and smiled. "Calling me early aren't you, Sam? It's dark still!"

"Frodo! You're awake! And smiling!" I leaned over and hugged him.

Frodo took a deep breath and sat up. "Hullo, Smeagol! Found any food? Have you had any rest?" He asked.

"No food, no rest," He replied. "nothing for poor Smeagol. He's a sneak."

"Don't take names to yourself, Smeagol. It's unwise, whether they are true or false."

I coughed. "Sneak."

"Smeagol has to take what's given to him." he said bluntly. "He was given the name by kind master Samwise, the hobbit that knows so much."

"Hey! You're forgetting someone, aren't you?" I stood up and looked over at Gollum.

Frodo turned to Sam. "Yes sir," Sam replied, "I did use the word, waking up out of my sleep sudden and all finding him at hand. I said I was sorry, but I soon shan't be."

"Come, let it pass then." Frodo said. "But now seem to come to a point, you and I, Smeagol. Tell me. Can we find the rest of the way by ourselves? we're in sight of the pass, of a way in, and if we can find it now, then I suppose our agreement can be said to be over. You have done what you promised, and you're free; free to go back to food and rest, wherever you wish to go except to the servants of the enemy. And one day I may reward you, I or those who remember me."

"No, no, not yet. O no! They can't find the way themselves, can they? O no indeed. There's the tunnel coming. Smeagol must go on. No rest. No food. Not yet."

"Well, doesn't that just sound pleasant?" I picked up my backpack. "We had best be on our way then."


	16. Arachnophobic Hobbits

Chappie 7

Arachnophobic Hobbits

DISCLAIMER: Do I even need to post this? (Nothing is mine!)

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"Is this the only way, Smeagol?"

We had come to the opening of Torech Ungol, AKA Shelob's lair. After walking another mile or so up that accursed path, we had come to a cave. A really smelly cave.

"Yes, yes, we must go this way now."

"D'you mean to say you've been through this hole?" Sam asked. "Phew! But perhaps you don't mind bad smells."

"He doesn't know what we minds, does he, precious? No, he doesn't. But Smeagol can bear things. Yes. He's been through. O yes, right through. It's the only way."

I started whining. "But I don't wanna go through the cave! It's smelly and filled with carcasses."

Frodo and Sam looked at me.

"Well," said Frodo, "Carcasses or no, it's the only way, and we must take it."

I took one last breath of fresh air and walked inside. After taking a few steps, we were in complete dark. Not just ordinary dark, either. No, the really deep dark, where if you were to put your hand over your face, it may just as well be your foot. The air was thick, and it felt like I was walking through a vat of chocolate icing. Yes. Icing indeed.

Even though I couldn't see, my other senses were a lot sharper, and could feel the smooth stone on the wall. I stretched out my other hand and bumped into Frodo.

"Frodo!' I cried out, hugging him.

"Shh!" Sam whispered.

"Oh, right." I grabbed Frodo's hand and resumed walking.

We kept on walking, seeming to go steadily upwards the whole while. It wasn't a very good way to tell our progress, however, and after a while I had no idea how long we had been walking. I felt numb, and couldn't hear Gollum ahead of us. Luckily, Sam broke the silence.

"There's more than one passage here." he whispered. "It's as orc-like a place as ever there could be!" 

He was right, there were several gaps in the tunnel walls, some smaller and some larger than others. It was easy to keep along the main path though, it was straight and kept going upwards.

After what had seemed like hours of walking through that dark, stuffy, horribly smelling place, I almost fell over. There was a large void, which seemed to be where the smell was coming from. I reeled over, and tumbled into Frodo and Sam.

"Up!" Frodo coughed out. "It all comes from here, the stench and the peril. Now for it! Quick!"

I dragged myself up, and stumbled forward. After taking a few reluctant steps, we passed the stink hole. Almost immediately we ran into more trouble. There was a fork in the path, and neither way was straighter than the other.

"Which way has Gollum gone? And why didn't he wait?" Sam asked breathlessly.

"Smeagol!" Frodo called. Oh man. "Smeagol!" Frodo called again. We were very, very screwed.

"Frodo. We're screwed." I said.

"He's really gone this time, I fancy." Sam pointed out. "I guess this is exactly where he meant to bring us. Gollum! If I ever lay my hands on you again, you'll be sorry for it."

As Sam was muttering to himself, Frodo and I were fumbling with the left passage. It was blocked, a stone must have fallen in the way.

"This can't be the way." Frodo whispered. "Right or wrong, we must take the other." I nodded, pointlessly.

"There's something worse than Gollum about." Said Sam. "I can feel something looking at us."

I had forgotten all about Shelob. "This is bad…" I whispered. I went to catch up with Frodo and Sam, only to hear a gurgling noise behind me. Followed by a hiss. I ran to catch up, they were a few paces ahead of me. Both of them stood still.

"Master, master!" Sam cried. "The Lady's gift! The star-glass! A light to you in dark places, she said it was to be. The star-glass!"

"The star-glass?" Frodo asked.

"The phial of Galadriel, you fools!" I couldn't believe they were standing there, discussing it while a ten foot tall, poisonous, man-eating spider was ready to pounce on us. "Frodo! In your shirt! For the love of the Valar, take it out!" I stood, staring at the void.

"Why yes!" Frodo said. "Why had I forgotten it? A light when all other lights go out! And indeed light alone can help us."

For a moment, I couldn't see anything. Then I saw a faint light, which was getting brighter by the second. Staring at the beautiful, shiny light held aloft by Frodo's hand, I heard a voice cry out.

"Aiya Earendil Elenion Ancalima!" Frodo shouted. (A/N: I hate posting in mid-sentence, but I have to give myself a pat on the back for remembering this line. You'd be amazed how hard it was for me to memorize this!)

As Frodo called out, I became aware of two enormous, faceted eyes staring at me. I stood there, horror stricken. 

I heard Frodo and Sam calling behind me. Realizing what I was doing, I backed up, and started running. Frodo and Sam were already behind.

"Stand, stand!" Frodo called. "Running is no use."

Pulling out the Phial again, he cried out, "Galadriel!" Taking his sword out of his sheath, he began to advance towards the spider.

The eyes started to back up, and then vanished completely.

"Master, master!" Sam cried.

I leapt over towards Frodo, grabbing him in a bear hug.

"Stars and glory!" Sam continued. "But the Elves would make a song of that, if they ever heard it! And may I live to tell them and hear them sing."

"Elanor," Frodo coughed. "You're choking me."

"My bad!" I let go.

Sam stood staring at us. "Shouldn't we be getting out of this hole?"

We began walking at first, then running. We were climbing up a steep slope, leading ever away from the stink of the tunnels. At long last, I saw an opening- a light at the end of the tunnel. Dying to get above ground, I jumped up towards the light, only to get stuck.

"What the hell is this!" I screamed. "We get all the way to here, finally, and right when we reach the end, it's just another trap. What sick, twisted fool would do such a thing!"  
"Cobwebs?" Sam scoffed. "Is that all? Have at 'em, down with 'em!"

Picking up his sword, he struck the web. The only good it did was toss the sword out of his hand. Sam took his sword again, and hit it two more times with all of his force. One strand gave way, and snapped right onto Sam's hand, leaving an ugly gash. He drew his hand to his mouth to nurse it.

"It will take days to clear a road like this. What's to be done?"

"I'll tell you what's to be done…" I muttered. "Try Frodo's sword. It sure is a better blade, and I need to get down from here fast. My legs are cramping!"

"Here," Frodo handed the phial of Galadriel to Sam. "Take the star-glass." He took Sting, and with one sweeping stroke he managed to clear a hole. In about five minutes I was free, and we made it to the other side of the web.

"Come! On, on!" Cried Frodo. He took off running, shouting as he went. "The pass! Run, run, and we'll be through- through before anyone can stop us!"

I ran on ahead, trying to catch up with Frodo. Unfortunately, I tripped over my feet. Cursing, I started to get up, when I heard a shout from behind me.

"Look out behind-" Was all I heard, when I blacked out.


End file.
